A
male
age
30-35,
*cclareng3
writes:I'm 18 about to turn 19 and me and my ex went out for about 3 years. We met in high school and the beginning of our relationship begun bad, she left a guy for me, then for a month we went out and then we broke up. after a while the same the same process occur, but then we went steady for 2 years, then we started going on and off. I know we loved each other but all the fighting caused anger and resentment between us which replaced the love but for me I still loved my girlfriend no matter what. We had the best and worst relationship ever, to her I was her first serious and loving relationship, for me she was my first girlfriend. We lost it together and have many memories mostly everywhere I go. What hurts is that the last couple of months leading to the break up, she started liking someone, we broke up but after 4 days of our break up she liked someone else, it made me feel she didn't love me enough, she said she moved on, i explained to her and apologized and we gave it another go. My heart still felt hurt and my trust and jealousy became to overwhelming, I wish she could have been the one to help me feel better, i tried forgiving her and myself but it didn't work. after the break up she said she has no feelings for him and he was a rebound. She broke up with me, she finally couldn't take the fighting anymore. we lost out romance, trust, intimacy, and loyalty. But I still believe we have a chance because I love her very much, I still didn't lose any of that, but she told me recently she didn't love me anymore. It was on our 2 year anniversary so much fighting occur. She was my best friend, i felt so comfortable with her, we had fun, sometimes when I felt romantic with her, she didn't. Can you fix someone and heal their heart to make the love come back or is it impossible? Can a relationship be saved after so much damage has been done, can someone still love you when there heart is broken? Should I believe there is hope for us in the future? I can't stop thinking of her flirting with other guys, she's very social, parties, and hangs out with people? If were done for good how can I move on?, it hurts so much, knowing I still have feeling for her and she doesn't. Will I ever find someone better and get over her? and what are most loving marriages and relationships like? what is necessary for a healthy relationship?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, HurtandUnsure +, writes (10 January 2011):
 I first came to this website in search of help, like you. But now I feel the need to help those in need of advice too. First everything's are difficult, Im finding this out for myself right now too. I've read all there is to read about relationships, and you know what I can tell you? It sucks. Where I am with myself right now that is.
Relationships can only be saved if both parties wish to fix the problems. If you and your girl can look at the problems in the relationship and face them together, rather than play the blame game and say something is your fault, or hers, you have a chance. You both need to work on yourselves before either of you can be ready for a serious relationship. If you approach her with the plan of doing some "me" time for the both of you, get yourself together, then try dating again, things may be better this time around. Relationships are not a one way street, its about compromising and working towards a goal together.
Check out this site, it may help you and your girl to get on the right track.
http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/relationship-issues/healthy-relationships.html
Best of luck.
A
female
reader, petina1  +, writes (7 January 2011):
 In all relationships there can be fights, arguments etc. But after reading all that you put I think your girlfriend has been curious with other men, tried them out, it hasnt worked so she came back to the safe bet, which is you. She knows you love her, she knows you probably will always be there for her no matter what (for a time at least) and I think she is playing you to fulfill her fantasies of trying other guys and situations out, knowing if it doesnt work, there you will be again. It's obvious you think more of her than she you or you wouldnt get treated this way.
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