A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My case might be unique cause I am from a very conservative background. I am a very religious Hindu and i CANNOT go against my parents to marry a guy they disapprove of. But emotions took over me, and i fell in love for a Buddhist guy! He loves me soooooo much and when i took the case to my parents, they totally disproved of the guy, cause he was Buddhist. There is NO WAY my parents can give a YES to him. And although i kinda expected this, I still couldn't help myself from falling in love with that guy. There was no way i cud be happily married to him given the cultural and religious differences.So i had to call it off, due to practical issues. But it pains like hell!!! i love him soooo much, and so does he... but there is no way this can end in marriage! It pains to know that we had to split, with all the love still in our hearts. Even he is trying hard to live life without me and so am I! I am not able to forget him although i know this will not work out. Its been a month now and I feel that I'll be in love with him forever, and just stuck there, without being able to move on with another guy my parents show! Please help. How do i move on? I feel totally devastated!!!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2010): If you love the guy and want to be with him and him the same, you should have a discussion on how you envision your life. How both of you would like to lead your life? Kids etc. What is important?
If what your parents want or their happiness and acceptance is important, control your heart and do what they want.
If you want to be happy and with a good guy who loves you, stand firm to it and go for it.
I did the first and it got me divorced after 7 years of marriage. Now, I'm a hindu girl married to a chinese protestant and we are happy in love. We have been married for 4 years and have a child and another on the way. I was seperated from my family because they wanted me to marry a hindu again and insulted me continuously how I'm immature falling in love and being taken advantage of to how chinese are playboys and he will leave me because only a chinese girl can handle chinese boys. They tried everything to my mother crying on me, threatening to disown me, saying her health was bad, to my sister screaming at me and family interventions to them forcing me to sit down with our pandit that this was bad on my marrying outside. I didn't care, now I'm happily married and my husband treats my parents with love and respect and see he has better values than my ex did. They never cared to see his values, all they saw was the color of his skin and it took them 2 years after marriage to realize they were dumb and we are all happy.
Short story, it is your life and do what you think makes YOU happy. That is what I did. Don't let yourself be bullied or coereced to sacrifice. It will make them happy, but in the end you let them make your bed filled with thorns and now you have to lie it for who knows how long they will coerce you into it. I still get snickers behind my back on leaving my ex, but hey - at least I know when I go home, I am going to a man that makes my heart skip a beat and fills me with love and happiness. My friends at temple are just 'content' with life because at least they are married but there is no love or happiness - just artificial smiles showing off where they went on vacation or got as gifts because inside they are dead...and not one bit happy and don't leave their husbands because it is taboo (hence the low divorce rates for hindu's married to hindu's or arranged marriages)
A
female
reader, whatislove  +, writes (19 September 2010):
I was sought of in the same situation. I really liked a guy from university, and he liked me back. We became great friends for like two month. We never really talked about liking each other but we both knew we did. But he's Buddhist, and I'm Muslim. So we didn't start anything. His parents would never accept me, my parents wouldn't accept him. But I miss. Just hanging out with him. The fun times we had. Now we don't even talk. It is hard, but you have to be strong for yourself. And you deserve the best person in the world for you. Good luck and I hope it works out.
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A
female
reader, hmcm  +, writes (6 February 2010):
i am sick and tired of religion, im inlove with a man whos seperated hes catholic and has trouble coming to terms with whats hes doing , love is the most powerfull thing above any religion , nobody would tel me who i should and shouldnt be with, why cant we love and have our seperate faiths, all these religious books and stories were made thousands of years ago, weve evolved since then we now should be trying to intergrate with each other and break down these religious barriers, and try to be good people instead of keeping up with the joneses, ive seen people who are supposed to be good religious people but wouldnt speak to you in the street, get your man you love and be happy lifes hard enough trying to get by without being told you must or you musnt
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A
female
reader, summerslady21  +, writes (13 May 2009):
Don't part yourself from him the heart tells more than you think you are in love so is he. Culture and religion has nothing to do with falling in love! If you love him as much as you say then your parents will accept it as long as you are happy that's what matters! I say get it back together do what's right for you and your life! This may sound harsh so I'm sorry ahead of time but your parents will not always be here for you maybe this is the person you are to spend your life with. You can always work around the family beliefs and still be involved with them! Honey I say go for him happiness and everything your relationship was and is about! You are the only person who knows what is best for you! Good luck sweety and you only have the chance to live life once so live it for you!
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (13 May 2009):
 You are not alone or unique, this is one of the oldest problems in the book - Romeo and Juliet, not religions but the same basic story.
Don't let something as silly as religion stand in your way, so what if you believe in different things, love is love and I think all religions believe in that, if you can't have a religious marriage can you have a civil ceremony, what is more important, your parents superstitions or your happiness and marrying the man you love?
This is the problem with religion, it's all about my way is right your way is wrong, who cares, as long as you are happy!
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A
male
reader, CommonSpencer +, writes (13 May 2009):
In my mind religion causes more problems than it helps. Love is real, but I hardly believe in my opinion that any god exists in this crumby world, but that said if you love the guy, you love the guy regardless of what religion you believe in. He is willing to accept you, but your parents must mean allot to you, to break it off like that. I have seen Jews and Catholics get married and have long happy marriages so its all about what you want to do with your life, but then again I don't know how it is to live where your from. The rules might be completely opposite of the U.S. where anyone can marry each other without fear of judgment.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2009): dont move on, you and this guy should be together! everyone wishes they could meet a nice decent person to be with! and some people never find that! you would be mad to let this man go! i know your family are against it! but we are only here once! so you have to live life to the full! stop putting everyones happiness before your own! you could end up in marriage that your not happy in! if this man is the one you could see yourself with forever then go for it! your family will just have to respect your decision! if your family love you then they will stick by you and support your decision!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2009): you should be pleased of what you shared with him, whoever follows will find it difficult - but follow they will.
to get over someone special is difficult - no doubt about it. on this post are my tips - they may work for you? but that will be up to you.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-do-i-move-on-after-breaking-up.html
Hug, Star.x.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2009): Before you do anything, tell your parents how you feel and say that you repect their descisions but you really love him and he's a fantastic person who will care for you for the rest of your life. Remember it is your life and your desicion. If says yes then take him to your house and show them what a great person he is but if they say no then you do need to move on. It will be very hard to start with but eventually you will get to know him. before you know it you will be falling in love with a caring, lovely Hindu man who your parents approve of.
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