A
female
age
30-35,
*ca9130
writes:this is the thing: i like this guy a lot. he has a broken heart and he's become a player, even his friends are worried about him because he's not like that. i have a broken heart too, but i solved it from a different approach: faith, so i'm good now. so when we talk we hit it off and i like spending time with him. he once flirted with me, but i turned him down because i was still dealing with emotions for my ex, but yesterday, we went to a party and began to hit if off again, we got drunk and we cheered for being over our ex's. broken hearted unite! well, the thing is that we ended up having sex in his car (Stupid? Slutty?) his ex broke up with him 6 months ago, mine 4 months ago, so we're back in the dating buisness for shizzle. the thing is, he told me his parents will go on vacation this whole week and that i can come over to his house to fool around. the thing is, i don't want to just fool around, i want to leave a mark in his heart. on top of all this, he's leaving for five months to brazil in one month, so basically, i have this one week to dazzle him and make him ask me out for this month and to make him crazy about me so he'll only think of me when he's in brazil. the thing is, to not be one more woman in his list, to become THE woman, so, how can i make him find me irresistable?
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broke up, drunk, flirt, his ex, my ex, player Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2010): You don't seem to understand the principle of actions and words.
You want to tell him in words that being a player isn't the way to go and you would be a good girl for him. But you have just showed him in actions that being a player works better than being a good guy and you are an easy fuck. Your contradictory actions have completely drowned out the effects of your words.
So what can you do now? Nothing. You are out of the game with him. Your two options are either continuing to screw and love him, or to withdraw your bedroom support to make him respect you. Either way he won't respect you very much and he won't want you enough to put much effort into chasing you. He caught you already.
A
female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (7 November 2010):
 Don't we all wish we could mend that player's broken heart? Well, you can't turn a player into a boyfriend. Just doesn't work like that. He's gotten his heart broken, is now convinced all girls are the same so what better way to get revenge is to use girls for sex then toss them aside. That's what he's doing to you, he had sex with you at the party, now you're showing further interest and he can't turn down more sex so he invites you over to fool around. He's not relationship material, you can't change his bad boy ways. The boy will change his bad attitude on his own, but that's not going to be anytime soon, definitely not in a week. You're wasting your time.
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A
male
reader, Latino201 +, writes (7 November 2010):
Hi, by being there sexually, you are being part of the problem, not the solution. I've been in that situation more than once. The women who give it up, I just considered another notch on my belt. He will either stop being a player when he feels he has gotton even, or he will never change and become a "cheater". You will never trust this guy and you will end up regretting this for a long time. Your best MOVE right how, stop communication, do not be one of many and start looking elsewhere. When he realized what he is losing he MIGHT change his mind. No guarantee. Most young men are very hormonal, it is a mistake to think you can "Tie" one down at your age. Hope this helps.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2010): go read two of the articles - different part of this site - by anonymousemale1 (name a bit like that) one article is how to identify a man is a player. The other is a brilliant article by the same author on how to spot how a man is behaving 30 seconds after he climaxes. It will save you years of wasting your life with callous losers
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (7 November 2010):
 Hi well its obvious he became a player because his ex hurt him and now he has lost faith in women so he is just using them for sex as he doesnt want to get attached and left hurt again, its sad how often this happens to genuine nice guys.
Well to be honest if you wanted this guy to take you serious you should never have had sex with him because that is all he is going to think about now is having sex with you not that he wants to be with you or to have you as a girlfriend, when girls give in to sex to quickly guys lose respect for them and treat them like a sex object hence now why he is trying to get you over just to fool around.
The best way that you can recover from this is to show him that is not what you are about, ask him does he want to hang out with you and if he tries anything on tel him you want to get to no him better and enjoy his company before you have sex with him and keep to your word if he doesnt want to hang out with you again then am afriad it was only sex he wanted, and you cant make him change.
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