A
male
 ,
anonymous
writes:I hope someone can help me with this. A little background: My girlfriend has had an extensive sexual past. In an effort to keep from hurting me she has lied about it until recently. I have been able to deal wih the majority of the pain that comes with learning something like this but I find that I cannot trust her completely. My mistrust comes from the fact that most of the guys she slept with were her "friends", people she still has contact with. Granted they were one night stands or just "messing around". So when it involves hanging around with her male friends I do not trust her. Problem: My girlfriend has a male friend that she still talks to from her past. She said nothing happened between the two of them but I think she may be lying. The problem I have is that she will call him or he will email her and I get this suspicious feeling every time they talk. I can't shake it but it seems very fishy that this guy communicates with her so much. The few times I have happened to glance at her screen when she is reading one of her emails I see these super long messages. I don't want to be suspicious of her and her male friends. Her last boyfriend was very jealous and I think it might have driven her away from him. I don't think she understands how difficult it is to deal with a girlfriend who has had an extensive past and who has nothing but male friends. A few of whom she has slept with, no less. Should I tell her how suspicious I am(of this particular friend) or should I just suck it up and be a stronger person and just accept what I have been given?
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her past, jealous, one night stand, sexual past Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2006): your girlfriend has done nothing wrong to make you feel like this? it is possible that your girlfriend can have all male friends, I myself surround myself around men. i have a very close male friend and i have been dumped twice because of the fact we are so close but what i dont get is how you guys can't see the male close friend is like a brother to women. If your going to tell her how you feel....tread carefully....you might lose her in the long run.
A
female
reader, dr good advice +, writes (19 March 2006):
i think that you have every right to feel suspitious about your g/fs male friend, you are her her partner after all! i have been in a similar situation like yourself and its unfair that your g/f should be making you feel this way, dont feel guilty about feeling suspitious, you are only human! tell her the truth about how you feel, express yourself. personally i would give her an altermatam! i know its hard but maybe this isnt the one for you, sounds like you need someone who will appreciate you more and to me you sound like a very sensitive and caring guy, get tough and dont take no crap! if this situation is making you unhappy then leave, you deserve better. good luck mate.
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A
female
reader, Jadzia1127 +, writes (19 March 2006):
 You need to figure out how much this is bothering you and figure this out quickly, for your girlfriend is getting the short end of this relationship right now. She is dating a man that holds her past against her, and doesn't trust her.
If you can't forgive and forget her past then get it over with and confront her. It is then your choice to slowly destroy your relationship with your distrust of her or quickly with an accusation and slander.
My advice: It is better to trust and look the fool. Then to be distrustful and ruin a good thing.
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