A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I broke up with my boyfriend of 2years today, the main reason being because he was texting and flirting with this girl and I just didn't feel I could trust him anymore seen as he;s cheated about 4other times. We've ended on pretty good terms, well as good as they get, but the thing is, like a year and half ago I met this guy, I never really spoke to him, we had each other emails but because I was in a relationship he kept out of my way, but I always felt this spark between us.Yet today, he emailed me just saying hi long time no speak kind of thing, we've been talking for a couple of hours just generally and now he's asked me for my mobile number.I dreamt about him so many times but forced myself to not think about him because I loved my boyfriend and I thought I stood no chance. But now I feel like I'm contradicting myself, I just don't know what to do, it seems so fast, well it is ridiculously fast.I just doin't know what to do, any advice is great?
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female
reader, BeSimplyTrue  +, writes (18 May 2010):
 I don't think you're contradicting yourself, as long as you were honest when you said that while you were in the relationship you didn't really speak to this guy you felt a spark with. You're not cheating if the relationship is over. If you didn't cheat then, you don't have to feel guilty now.
That said, I think you should take some time to let the dust settle before you get in really deep with this guy. It sounds like you have a connection. Don't ignore it, but don't jump in headlong with deep, intense, long conversations with this guy while your head is still spinning from the breakup.
I know it's hard, but try to practice moderation. Do different things: try to see your friends, catch up on your hobbies, write in a journal, heck even walk around the mall or in the neighborhood. Don't jump from one relationship into the next one. Don't make this new guy your world. It sounds like he's an awesome guy (I know what you mean about feeling a spark) but be kind to yourself, and him, and let yourself heal from this recent relationship before you get wrapped up in a new one.
A
male
reader, Eruantion +, writes (18 May 2010):
That is fast. Take it slow, and don't tell him everything. I know that you're probably hurting right now and could use someone to talk to, but he's not the one to talk to about it.
Slow and easy is the best. Fast and firey starts, make for fast and firey fizzles.
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