A
male
age
36-40,
*nergizerbunny
writes:Guess who's back? so in previous questions i had mentioned a 35 year old who had a prestarted family (4 kids) and i had broken up with her because i didnt feel there would be a future. 3 weeks later we find out shes pregnant by my child...life and its ironies :( i dont know the first thing on how i should be now. should i hang out with her for support or just be there for the important parts? i am not going to force a relationship with her because of the child but i will want to be there for the child as much as possible. im 24 shes 35, her oldest son is 18 which makes it all very weird. i am still a kid myself in a ton of ways and dont feel ready for a child at all but such is life. guess the good ol xbox and banging out random broad days are over. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2012): Nice of someone to strenuously vote for termination of the life of your child. Real nice.
Why are they all so stupid?
This woman knows what being pregnant means. I'm sure she respects the life of her unborn child, even if nobody else does.
As for you, yes, you sound incredibly immature. I guess you're going to grow up a bit now. She must know what you're like, so I can't imagine she is expecting much. Just be nice.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2012): I strenuously vote for an abortion in this case.
If not, then I also vote for a DNA test just to be sure. IMO they should be done routinely with all pregnancies.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2012): it sounds a little bit too convenient to me - you broke up and then she tells you she's pregnant. I would double check the facts first. Also seems kinda irresponsible to me for a 35 yr. old single mother of 4 not to be using protection.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2012): The questions I'm about to ask you may not sit well with some of the ladies here, or your ex either, but if I was a man being told I had fathered a child, especially given the opportune timing, these are MAJOR points I'd want to be sure of.
1) Were you present for the pregnancy test?
2) Are you positive the baby could only be yours?
I ask because I've had male friends whose girlfriends or exes either played the "I'm pregnant" card to "keep" the guy or reverse a breakup, or worse, cheated and let the guy believe it was his for a variety of reasons (didn't want to be perceived as a slut, didn't think they'd have any luck getting child support from the real baby daddy, etc.) Needless to say this caused the men in question a lot of heartache and hassle.
I haven't read your previous questions so I don't know if your ex was the type to stay faithful to one man, whether she was bitter enough when you broke up with her to try to keep you by any means possible, or what. Probably she's a great person and good mother BUT I just wanted to make sure you have thought of the points I raised above. Just in case.
And yep, as others have said, if it's your child you don't need to be in a relationship with the mother, but you DO need to be a father and provider in the child's life. Best wishes.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (16 March 2012):
 Yes, the good ol' Xbox and Banging Out Random Days are Over. You're now responsible for another human being. You don't have to have a relationship with her, but you have to be there for the baby.
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