A
female
age
30-35,
wrathykins
writes:Hello Everyone!So I'm going through a break up, after 6 long years together and everyone keeps asking me "How on earth are you doing this?" and "I can't believe how strong you're being" so I thought perhaps I could help you lot in some way.There are ALOT of elements into being 'ok' again. It's going to take time. People say "It'll take you half the time you were together to get over your ex" but I think that's a load of old rubbish. YOU have to go at your own pace, take each day as it comes and eventually you'll wake up one day and realise you are ok again.I find myself in the mindset of "I am a BEAUTIFUL person and it's most definatley his loss" and that really does help. I can't stress that enough, you need to have a positive outlook on all of this. Think of all the things you can do now you aren't in a relationship. You need to see your ex as a thing of the past. To me, the person I loved doesn't exist anymore. He changed so much he wasn't who I fell in love with. My main worry has been "What if I find out he's with someone else?" to which a friend said to me "His life no longer effects you or what you do" and I try to remind myself of that everytime those thoughts pop into my head. I've also deleted and blocked him from everything so I can't torture myself by going onto his facebook page or whatever. Now THAT is the first step!Delete and block them from everything. Get rid of their things from your apartments. I went to the extreme and deleted every single photo/memory of him from my laptop and phone. Less reminders of them, less thoughts of them!You have to find YOU again. Being in a long relationship you DO lose yourself. What are your hobbies? Did you neglect any friendships during the course of the relationship? Fall back in love with your hobbies and reach out to those old friends you haven't spoken to in a while! It'll keep you busy!On that subject, distraction is key. Fill your life with social outings, try new things! Always wanted to write a book? (Like me, haha!) write it! New language? Learn it! There are so many things out there that you have the freedom to do, so do them! Something else that has helped me, was to give myself a make over of sorts. I had my hair done, nails done, new clothes, I've started working out. Any confidence your ex crushed from you will soon be gained back by doing this. But it's more about YOU. Make yourself feel good! You need to see yourself as number 1 now, your ex is no longer valid in your life.I really hope this helped at least one person. Just remember, you are number 1 now.
View related questions:
a break, confidence, crush, facebook, fell in love Reply to this Article
Share |
You can add your comments or thoughts to this article A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (2 April 2016):
 My wise lovely mother in law taught me to always remember to ask yourself:
''is this good for me''
and
''do something nice for you every day and you will know that one person, who truly deserves to be treated well, has been treated well.
I applaud you for choosing some pampering. Good move. My idea of bliss (happens infrequently, when I aggregate my birthday, mothers day and or Christmas day gift vouchers) is 3 hours at a day spa.
your approach to this break up is brilliant. He has done you a huge favour. By not respecting and valuing you he has revealed that his judgement is faulty and that he is not discerning enough to comprehend what he has forfeited and lost, namely you.
Some time ago I wrote an article for this site about tunnel vision positive thinking that demonstrates my approach to life.
We cannot be liked by everyone.
But at all times we have a right to pursue what is the best approach to best support ourselves.
Sometimes that best approach means spending less time or NO time with a person has become a toxic presence in our lives.
I wish you every happiness in the future
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (24 March 2016):
 Thanks, nice article! A good reminder to take care of yourself and not allow the ex to keep traction in your life.
...............................
|
