A
female
 ,
*west
writes:My boyfriend broke up with me because he says he is going through a hard time right now with his past childhood experiences, the death of his mother, etc. He still wants to remain friends and I want the same thing. I have to go and get my stuff next week from his house and he wants to spend time with me and even invited me to stay over night. When I see him again, it will be almost a month since we broke up. I need to know if he still loves me and can this relationship be saved?
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female
reader, talking sense +, writes (9 August 2006):
Hi
When i give you this advice it is from experience. Your ex seems to have had alot of heart ache in his life. For alot of men it is very hard for them to talk about there feelings and they tend to bottle them up inside. Causing them to become confused and unable to cope with everyday situations such as having a girlfriend, no matter how much they might love you. Some men deal with situations like this via drinking alot or doing guy things where they dont have to deal with any issues. (this might not be what your ex is doing but if you look at his everyday routine there will be something that he throws all of his spare time into.)He does this so that he doesnt have to deal with what he has been through or with how he feels.
My advise to you is to give him the space he needs to sort things out in his head. The less complications he has right now the better. But be there to support him and stay with him when he asks you to. The fact that he is asking you to stay tells me that he does still need you and by asking you to stay he his telling you this. Read between the lines he needs your help but doesnt know how to ask for it. He is pushing you away because he cant handle a full blown relationship at the moment, but he is keeping you close by because once his head is sorted out he will still want to be with you.
You know your ex trust your judgement does what i have said make sense or do you think it is really over?
If you think its really over then dont stay over as it will just make the brake up harder, If what i have said makes sense then be supportive and share your strengths with him. Be a friend first and a girl friend second. I will be hard but worth it.
Hope this helps
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2006): I think asking him a life decision right now when his life is in confusion is not the wisest of choices.
Remain friends. He needs a good, trustworhty, reliable friend.
Get your stuff with someone else present so you don't have to put yourself in temptations reach.
Do not stay over night; again he is not in the right frame of mind to make a good decision.
Be a friend with no strings attached.
I think pushing him for answers right now may make matters worse.
Give yourself a time, like three months, of being his friend and not commiting your heart to anyone else. In this time get used to the idea that this may be it; you may just have to remain friends. In three months, move on.
It can be saved when both people wish for it to be saved.
In the time when he is figuring things out and does decide to work on you two being together, get some couples counselling. Tell him that is something you want and expect.
Hope I have answered your question.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2006): I broke my leg today, so I'll break up with my girlfriend.Seems like the right thing to do.Seriously, girl, I don't think he's interested in youanymore. Move on.
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A
reader, sexylinz  +, writes (9 August 2006):
 yes, this relationship can probably be saved. when you go to see him you need to talk to him. find out exactly how he is feeling about you and your relationship.if he still needs more time then i suggest you give it to him but try and be there for him.throughout all of this he should realise how good you are and will probably want you in his life as more than a friend.but please dont to anythin stilly like letting him have his cake n eating it...you need to be strong
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