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male
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anonymous
writes: Hi i'm 20 and I have a problem, about 2 months ago a friend of mine told me that her little sister (who is 16) fancyed me and wouldn't go down to the pub that night if I didn't go with her, so I gave her a call and asked her if this was true and she said yes so later that night we met up and went out to the pub then when it closed for the night her older sister went home and we went for a walk around the town talking and haveing a good time, the end of the night came I walked her home and we kissed and said good bye.The following week we went out again and did the same thing again come the end of the night we kissed and told each other that we loved each other, for the next 3 weeks this continued as the same but more oftern and she allways made out she was single.It was 1 week later I asked her if she whould like to become my girl friend she told me that she would tell me the next day, it was then she said to me "Sorry but I have a boy friend allready and he lives in Manchester" my heart was broken but she then told me that we could still be friends.My question is what should I do because I love her so much and I don't know if shes lieing because she was scared or if it's true. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey thanks everyone for your help but I found out last night when we had a little chat with each other that she wasn't lieing and she only went out with me because she had liked me since she was 6 years old and that she was getting tired of not haveing anyone to kiss and grab.
I've now learnt not to be so quick or so trust worthy but I must say you guys and gals have helped me alot so once again I must say thank you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2006): No anonymous, your heart is not broken in the way you think it is because you are not in love with her. You feel the way you do because you are new to the whole sex and relationship experiences and you have just found out how it feels to be rejected.
You would be wise to avoid such young girls, they are not ready to commit to the same kind of relationship as you are seeking.
Next time don't be so quick to use the word "love"; if you do, it'll become meaningless.
Trust me - you'll be back to normal within a few weeks as long as you get back to what you were doing before you met her. You'll also feel better by concentrating on why you weren't suitable, instead of wallowing on how perfect you thought you were for each other.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2006): How can you know you love one another from hanging out at a pub and then kissing afterwards?
I think there is an attraction and you two are operating on that alone and rushing into things...back off and get to know one another in other settings where alcohol and night time are involved.
She broke your heart. Can you trust her? I know she is 16 and therefore you can easily forgive her but with that she is 16 and is not prepared to commit to a faithful relationship.
Just believe it is truth and move on.
Best of wishes Mate.
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female
reader, talking sense +, writes (9 August 2006):
Hi
After giving your situation careful thought i have come to two conclusions:
1) this girl is young it might be that she felt comfortable at first when it was just meeting at the pub and kissing but asking her to become your girlfriend is on the next level. She maybe scared that you might expect more than kissing if your going out together. Because of her age this may have worried her so instead of talking openly about this with you she has backed off.
2) she really has got a boyfriend but felt attracted to you. This may have confused her and she wanted to go out with you to see if she should be with you or stay with her boyfriend. After a few dates wuth you she decided she loved her boyfriend and what she felt for you was lust. Remember 16 is a confusing age.
If you really like this girl as much as you say you do i would suggest having a chat with her sister to see whats really going on. If it is she is just scared then this would give you a chance to have a chat with this girl and tell her there is no pressure on her to do more than just kiss. But be tactful and direct in your approach.
hope this has been helpful
x
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female
reader, anon2907  +, writes (9 August 2006):
 Hmmm, sounds to me like she was lying - sorry!!
It could be that she did already have a boyfriend, but then why would she go on these 'dates' with you and kiss you? If she has a boyfriend then she's been cheating on him, so that makes her a bit cheeky to say the least - and in that case could you trust her in future?
If she was lying it could be that she didn't fancy you as much after a while - or that she fancied someone else more or maybe she just wanted to let you down gently.
She sounds like she could be a bit of a player. Can't you ask her sister if it's true - you sound like you're friends with her?? And if she insists it's true, then you've got no choice but to accept it.
Good luck!!
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