A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone, I have recently split up with my girlfriend after 6 years together. Everything was going fine, and we even went away on holiday together a month before the split, but suddenly she said to me, she doesn’t love me the way she has before and wants to be apart from me. I’m very confused because we have not been shouting or anything, but we have both been very stressed over our collage exams. Since the split we haven’t talked at all, not even a text message from either of us…it’s now been 2 months.After loving someone for so long, how can she suddenly just say it’s over and goodbye? She says she want to be alone for a while and that maybe she wants to travel and do new things.It still bothers me, I’v been with this girl for so long and spent so much time together, and suddenly we haven’t seen or spoken to each other for months. I don’t feel I can contact her because she is the one that split us up. I’m always thinking about her, but I seem to get the impression that she’s cool without me and doesn’t care.
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on holiday, split up, text Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2008): Thank you for the reply. before we split up i did see an e-mail on her computer from someone she works with. it was a bit like they had been flirting, with her asking him "was anything going on between us". I didnt tell her i had seen the e-mail but when i asked her about our relationship she said she loved me and wanted to spend her whole life together with me. This was just 3 weeks before we split up.we didnt see each other much over the exams, and when we did see each other i did feel there was something missing, but that we would sort it out after the exams were over.i get the impresion that she is about to start seeing this guy. i cant believe she just give up everything we had in the space of a few weeks.we are both from newyork but she is moving to toronto for a few months. i dont know if i should contact here before she moves.
A
female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (11 October 2008):
 I think you have a right to contact her to get to the truth of the matter or at least try as you are going to end up wondering what on earth you did wrong for a very long time, I think you deserve a little more than oh I don't love you the way I used to and that is it.
Why go away with you if it wasn't for the planned holiday and not give you any inkling that something was wrong. OK stress from exams can affect different people in different ways but the one thing you need to know is did she meet someone else and didn't have the guts to tell you or what.
If she has completely switched off then fine - it is time for you to switch off to and get on with your life without her but without any answers at all and it coming out of the blue it is hard for you to move on and that is all you want to do with some answers from her. It is not an unreasonable request after being with someone for 6 years.
OK when you got together I am guessing you were both quite young and she has obviously grown in a different way to you but she needs to tell you this or at least a better explanation, if you ask and get nothing from her then you can at least know that this is her problem and not yours. If she was a decent and honest person she would at least move forward with a proper end to your long term relationship.
Keep us posted OK.
BFN
Country Woman
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