A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello,So about fiveish months ago I met an amazing guy (my boyfriend), attractive, nice and caring. A couple weeks into actually dating each other he would make comment's every now and then like “you’re beautiful, are you positive you like me". I would just smile and tell him yes. But he started to constantly ask me the same question and also little comments like “I am so ugly I can’t believe I have you”. Unfortunately when we would go out together other guy’s check me out which made him worse and he would scream at me like it was my fault (I’m classy no short skirts and shorts for me).I decided we needed a break and it’s been three days not that long, he is texting me every minute, it seems, asking me what I am doing, if there are any guys I’m hanging out with that I am attracted to, when can we see each other etc etc. The whole situation is just too much for me. I care about him, but I have pushed myself away from him nothing about him attracts me anymore his personality is becoming bizarre and constantly putting himself down has made me see him differently in a bad way. Now I am worried and a bit concerned on how to let him know I want things to be over for good, without him freaking and acting crazy? Help pleaseee Thank you
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (3 October 2009):
Yeah, this guy seems to not quite be 100% mentally healthy.
It's this kind of guy that can often turn very nasty and try to put you down as a way to keep you with them.
I'm really glad you've seen through him early on and realised this is NOT a good guy to stick around. So many girls would try and fix him, and put up with him for AGES.
You simply have to be straight with him. He won't like it and he'll probably pester you for a while afterwards but that's just going to re-enforce the fact that you've done the right thing by dumping him.
Tell him you don't want to be with him, because he's jealous, insecure, and clearly a bit depressed. Tell him the fact he's been pestering you none stop when you asked for some space is just proof that this isn't right.
He'll accuse you of being with someone else at this point and may get nasty so when you meet him to do this, make sure it's in a public place.
If it gets too bad you can walk away. Remember you don't have to justify yourself to him.
Don't reply to any of his texts afterwards and if he doesn't stop texting you then change your number.
Good Luck!! xx
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (3 October 2009):
Well it's good that you don't want to stay in this relationship, because it's not healthy for you at all. It sounds like whatever happens he's going to be unhappy. You need to sit him down, look into his eyes and tell him its over. Yes, he will be upset, but untilt he sorts himsef out, he's not a good bet for any women. Keep it calm, controlled and short. All the best.
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