A
female
age
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*nimallover
writes:I have a similar situation with my Boyfriends 16 year old daughter! I live with my boyfriend and his daughter....She feels free to come in our bedroom and take something of mine.....Especially if her father purchased it for me. Her comment to him is well U bought that for her! I have done nothing but nice things for her! He did make her apologize but I still feel like she is really trying to push my buttons.I do not mother her and I don't want to. We keep our distance from each other but its still uncomfortable! Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated Reply to this Question
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reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (5 November 2010):
 Diplomacy and tact needed in massive amounts. Can't teenagers be a nightmare!!...even harder if they don't belong to you. To her it's a game of popularity and I agree she sounds like she is pushing you to the limit, probably to test her fathers loyalty and gain attention (not unusual for kids from a broken home).
Hide the stuff you dont want her to touch, tell her that she has to ask if she wants to borrow anything because thats just polite and don't go running to her dad every time she does something because thats what she wants. You need to wear your 'deaf ears' to the bad behaviour and try to reinforce any positive action with love respect and praise.Tell her in a grown up manner that you want to get on with her and get to know her.
I know you probably want to murder her for being such a brat, but in the long run, like with any child, consistency and patients pays off.
Good luck x
A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (5 November 2010):
 Perhaps the distance is not the solution but the cause of the problems! She sounds as though she wants to make you leave. Perhaps if you spend some time with her and get to know her she will stop behaving this way, after all, children may instantly dislike the 'new lover' of their parents. Let her get to know you, maybe she needs another motherly figure in her life and if this relationship with your boyfriend is going to go anywhere, I suggest you begin preparing for such a motherly relationship between yourself and his daughter.
I hope that helps.
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