A
female
age
36-40,
*0charlene25
writes:i recently discovered my bf watches porn behind my back i found this out when i was pregnant so i confronted him about it and of course he denied it so i gave him the benefit of the dought but then whist i was in hospital in slow labour he did it again only this time it was on his history so i knew he had watched it this was 8 weeks ago now and i cant seem to get over it i feel so hurt by this when ever i think about it i cry i feel like i cant trust him anymore, when he goes upstairs on his computer i think he is doing it again i get this nasty sick feeling inside i told him how this made me feel an he still did it again so then i start to wonder if he cares about the way this makes me feel .ithink im not good enough for him an i dont please him, makes me think there is somthing wrong with our relationship and im even put off having sex with him now i dont wanna show my body to him i really need some good advise can i get over this because its really doing my head in .
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female
reader, Miamine +, writes (2 March 2012):
 The majority of men on this planet watch pornography.
1. It's got nothing to do with if you have a good relationship or not. Your relationship could be perfect and many men still like porn.
2. It's got nothing to do with if your pregnant or not, many men look at porn even if you can't have children.
3. There is nothing wrong with him, most men look at porn.
4. It's got nothing to do with if your pretty, beautiful, or the most perfect woman in the world, we have women who are model's on DC and their husbands still look at porn.
5. You are upset that your guy looked at porn when you was in labour. Why wasn't he in the labour room with you? Is your guy allowed to masturbate at all without you, or does that upset you too?
6. You please him fine, pornography and masturbation has nothing to do with you being a great person. And if your giving birth, how the hell are you expected to please him at that time. Aren't you too busy to think about sex at that time, but if he's at home alone, why should you believe this is a reflection on you.
7. Your father, uncles, brothers, male friends, guys you work with, most of them probably use porn now and again. But they hide it from you, because many women get upset about such things.
There is nothing we can say. You don't want to have sex with him, you think he is disgusting. You now hide your body away (so forcing him to find some type of sexual relief, he can't just stay there and be sexless until the day he dies
There is nothing wrong with you. You don't like porn, you think only men who are single use it (not true) you think men who get tons of sex don't use it (not true) and you think it's a criticism of your beauty (it isn't) or your relationship (it isn't). Even the idea that your guy might like porn, even if your far away for months and he can't reach you, still upsets you. Even if he never looks at porn again doesn't matter, you'd still be upset and remember that he looked at it once, and your already starting to check up on him, so you'll definitely catch him watching porn again.
Nope you can't stay with this guy. You must leave him and try and find one of the very few guys who hate porn. They are out there, mostly found in church. Most men like porn, a few use it a lot, most use it a little, and a very few don't use it at all. Leave this guy and find one that doesn't like porn at all.
Your in the UK, when you looked in your newspaper and saw them naked girls with big breasts and the naked girl's all over Sky TV and Cable, didn't you know that this is because many men are interested in looking at naked women.
PS: I hope your child is not a boy, because you will have this problem with males liking porn as he grows up. You might also have a problem if your child is a girl, because many women also like porn to now.
I'm sorry, I'm hoping your next partner will be different. There are ways that many women learn to tackle and deal with this, but the dislike and hurt in you is so strong, I have a feeling you'll be disappointed again and so should probably give up all men. Not to be cruel, but in the UK, and disgusted by the thought of a man using porn, your ability to find the right guy is going to be small.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2012): Us guys always watch porn. Trust me, its no big deal. My wife let me get the PB channel. It as nothing to do with the love he has for you. Watch it with him.
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A
female
reader, Rozet  +, writes (2 March 2012):
 Is he your kids father? If not I think you might as well dump him and find a better a guy. Him being on those porn sites are exactly like cheating on you, very disrespectful. He should consider you and your feelings, your not just some sex toy.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2012): I shouldn't think you have anything to worry about. Porn and masturbation are private matters to most men.
Women get to use sex toys that do far more than any human man can be expected to do and yet we aren't allowed to say anything about them for fear of seeming insecure (it's mostly fear that after a super awesome orgasm provided by a terminator wang, you will prefer IT to us if given a choice).
Men are seen as creepy if we use a sex toy... so we use the only other masturbatory aids available to us that are still socially acceptable... pornography.
It isn't likely a judgement on you as a sexual partner, most men if given a choice will go for a live woman before an image on a screen. Because sex is far better with a second person we care about.
I think women are the same. No matter what a vibrator does, it's still just batteries and rubber designed to fill in for what most women will prefer another human being to do. And dollars to doughnuts, most women would destroy their mechanical sex toys if not doing so meant they would never be able to have sex with an actual person again. Sex is just better with a second party present, even if sex toys are still involved in the act.
So chill out and let him keep his sex drive in check (most guys find sex with pregnant women kind of weird and wrong, like its gonna hurt the baby or something), a sex drive that did not just die when you became pregnant.
Flynn 24
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