A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So, there's this guy that I've been seeing and we've been having sex for about a month. Everthings great but he keeps wanting to go down on me. I know it would feel really good but I'm just really shy and I don't like the idea of someone seeing my whole body. Like if it were up to me, I'd have sex in jeans and a tee shirt to cover up which obviously isn't possible. I even hate taking off my bra. He's done nothing to make me self conscious/ uncomfortable. He constantly tells me that he loves my body and he wants to do more things but I just keep saying no and makeing up excuses because I feel shy. I want him to I would just prefur the lights be off or something but it'd sound weird if I said that. Anyways, is there anything to feel shy about? Like when a guy goes down on a girl are they really looking in comparason to other females or judging? I'm just not sure how I look compared to other females with nothing on if you know what I mean.
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female
reader, Kat1235  +, writes (23 August 2011):
You trust your boyfriend enough to have sex, trust him to do other things. Tell him you want the lights off, it'll make you relax and enjoy it more. It can make you nervous to try new things but if it is what you want then just do what you can to relax and try it. If you aren't enjoying it or you get nervous during you can ask him to stop.Guys don't compare, if they love you they just want to make you happy.Just make sure you are really ready to be having sex with your boyfriend at all. You should be able to trust him to see you. He loves you, your body will be a turn on to him.
A
male
reader, idoneitagain  +, writes (23 August 2011):
Your feelings of being shy are because you are worried about your body image. You are judging yourself, and are worried that he will judge you too. You aren't comfortable with your body, and this is bound to affect how you feel during sex.
Realise that there is no other body in the world like yours. Your body is a unique version of the female form. It cannot be judged against any other particular body, for you to say another body is better or worse is an arbitrary point of view. Your task is to learn to accept the body you have, to cherish it as being yours, and to love it and care for it because it is yours. Try this as an exercise. Take 5 every day to spend looking at your body with the viewpoint that it is unique, it is yours, and it is perfect because it isn't supposed to be anything other than what it is. It is natural to feel shy at your age, but as you mature and grow and gain experience, you can increase your confidence and outgrow feelings of shyness.
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A
male
reader, Jjang19  +, writes (23 August 2011):
If your shy about this stuff then you are honestly WAY to young to even be having sex. Sex should be a point where you're both totally comfortable with one another and want to share something special. I've seen this hundreds of times, and honestly, I'd re-evaluate your relationship because most of these relationships end badly.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2011): Sounds like you need to wait until you have a better self image and feel that it's the right time for you to have sex.To answer your question... usually when men are having sex their mind is usually 100% occupied with enjoying the moment and NOT thinking about how your body compares with other women. This may change over time, but odds are very good that it's not going to happen anytime soon.
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