A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I needed my boyfriends cell phone to make a call. On his cell was a picture of a woman in a bikini. I remembered her because we went to a local beach the other day and she was sleeping on a lounge chair next to my boyfriend. I was on a lounge chair on the other side of my boyfriend. So I checked further and found numerous photos (around 25) of women that he had taken at the beach that day in their bikinis and shots of their bikini tops and bottoms.We had talked about marriage. I am taking marriage slow because I really want to know a person before I go down that aisle. I find what he did was disgusting. I don't want to go all psycho on him but yet I feel compelled to since these women did not know they were being photographed.My self esteem has taken a hit because I feel I don't measure up now to the women he took photographs of.If I'm not doing it(good enough)for him he should let me know.I don't know if I should dump him, give him a chance to talk about it or if he will continue doing this anyway but hide it better in the future.
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female
reader, Alba5  +, writes (30 June 2013):
He's immature and not behaving in respect to you or the other ladies on the beach. A friend of mine left her husband because he could never stop looking at other women and would strain his head sometimes to look at them in front of her!
Tell him you don't like it otherwise honey you'll be putting up with it until your 65! Is this what you want. Having a quick cheeky glance is OK but taking photos is creepy.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2013): My parents in law have been married 41 years. I was looking through some old photos filed away in envelopes from their vacation to the tropics when out came a good 10 photos of women in their bikini's walking or lying down on the beach. My mom-in-law freaked out and said I shouldn't have seen those, but her husband got in trouble for taking such photos. You see, even 65 year old men look at other women and if immature (still) take photos of them. It's not right and its so immature. Have a strong talk with him. It's not acceptable, but now you know what happens in his brain even when you're around. He likes looking at other women. It's in their wiring and DNA. Men can be retards.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2013): Seeing naked women lights up the tool part of the brain for guys. I'm sure he just took the pictures to ogle them later. That doesn't mean you're not good enough. I think those pictures are just a tool.
I never understood why women think it's perfectly fine to go out in public wearing a string but anyone who looks at them is a horrible person.
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A
female
reader, Caring Aunty A  +, writes (30 June 2013):
 “…I really want to know a person before I go down that aisle.”
I believe you just found; 25 better reasons for taking it even slower than before!? :(
Take Care - CAA
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A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (30 June 2013):
 I hate to break it to you, but a man's sex drive doesn't end when he is in a committed relationship. Most guys will continue to ogle and lust about random women throughout most of their lives. I also wouldn't take it personally -- or feel that your looks don't measure up. Someone is always going to be more sexually appealing than you... it is just the nature of things. However, men worth keeping can respect the boundaries of being in a committed relationship and not giving into temptation.
However, what your boyfriend did was fairly juvenile, although not unexpected. He obviously was turned on by the amount of hot women there and decided to capture the moment. I imagine he shared them with his friends and had a good laugh.
If you feel impelled you could ask him about it and request that he don't do things like that again. My guess is that if he respects your wishes and opinions he will do as you say. However, don't expect him to turn off the "lust instinct" that most men have.
Again, you can judge a man by how he reacts to temptations, but you will be unable to protect him against being turned on... I see his actions in this case as simply uncouth and disrespectful, but not necessarily a deal breaker.
Eddie
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