A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Before my bf i had little sex. When we started to have sex he would always say how it made him feel good that i was so tight it made him happy i didn't sleep around. Now, 2 years later i am not so tight anymore. We have sex quite a bit. He is constantly telling me how 'loose' i am. Whenever he looks down there he says omg your sooooo loose or wow i can see everything! i don't know what he is trying to do here, but i tell him i don't like it. I tell him ok you think that you don't have to say it all the time, but he still does. Now im thinking what happens if i break up with him and what is the next guy going to think? i dont even think im that loose! so i guess im just thinking that im not going to be able to satisfy anymore? or is this what he wants me to think so i dont break up with him? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Brenna36  +, writes (26 July 2009):
 There is an exercise you can do to make you tighter. Its called kegal exercises. All you do is tighten and loosen the pc muscles for 3 seconds 10 times like twice a day. You can also find more about it on the web. Ive been told they work really well.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2009): After I answered, my wife read all of this and thought he was just very insensitive. I agree, but I have one more thought that I discussed with her. The thought is that he is making a very clumsy attempt at humor. For instance, I tease my wife about her big arse. Actually, she has a very nice arse and she knows that I think so. Me teasing her about her big arse is a joke between us. She also sometimes teases me about my little weenie. I am just slightly bigger than average, so it is just a fun joke for both of us.
When we started dating in our mid 30s, she remembers that I teased her about being old, even though she is 5 months younger than me. I don't remember that, but she was apparently feeling old and my joking hurt a little. She never mentioned it because she thought I was joking, but it still bothered her a little. Our joking with each other the past 20 years is just fun for both of us, but it can be disconcerting when the relationship is newer and you don't understand each other.
I also wouldn't be worried about your breasts. Forget the implants. I like to look at women with big breasts, but I actually like thinner women with smaller breasts. My personal favorite in real life is B or C, but I like to look at really big ones. My wife understands that I like her the way she is and even points out women with large breasts to me. However, we have been together for over 30 years and understand each other and know how we feel about the other. doing the things that we do could really hurt a new relationship, like one that is only 1 or 2 years old, perhaps even much more depending on the person and how the joking is done.
If he is really only trying to be funny, then he is doing it completely wrong. It is a clumsy way of being funny. If he is serious then he should look for someone else and let you find someone who is happy with what you give him. There is no reason for you to think of getting breast implants. There are lots of guys who would be perfectly happy with your breasts. There is one woman who I see frequently who is very thin and has like A sized breasts and no real arse and I think she is very attractive. I do like my wife's shape better, but I would be very happy to be with that women as far as her body is concerned. I don't know her personally and just see her around, but it is just an example of how I think most men feel. Don't allow this guy to make you feel inadequate and hurt you. If he can't understand that he is hurting you and won't stop after some serious discussion then you have to decide if you really want to be with him.
I also don't get the part about thinking it funny when he makes you angry. My wife sometimes pretends to be angry when I tease her and I do also when she teases me, but neither one of us have any desire to really make the other angry. That would just cause problems. We do that enough by accident without trying to do it. Trying to make someone angry who you are supposed to care for is just tormenting them.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2009): Well then he just has plain old respect issues in that, he doesn't respect you. Not enough anyway.
He may think it's funny to see you get angry, but what about hurt? If you were to show him the hurt he's inflicting on you instead of the anger, then do you think he would stop? He is very insensative and i can't imagine he'd be very much fun to be around with that type of sense of humour.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAlso, he cums every time, so i could be happy with him bringing it up if he wasn't cumming, but thats not the case. its not like our sex is bad, but i get to the point where i dont want him to look at me down there!
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks alot for your replies! just to answer a bit of that, i had a pap recently, so no problems. and i have done those before, and if i squeeze its tight around 1 finger, thats why i don't get it and think he wants to make me feel bad about it. he does usually give me oral beforehand, so that could be contributing.. he says other things well i am self conscious about my breasts, i have told him so many times how i want to get implants to make myself feel better and he makes comments like "my type of girl has a big but and big boobs" and calls my boobs "weenys" he thinks its all funny and laughs when i get upset, then says i like your body its funny when you get angry blah blah i just cant believe him but.i would say he is slightly smaller then average, and from what he tells me he doesn't masturbate
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2009): Superbunny, just because a woman is 60 doesn't mean that she is loose. A 60 year old can be just as tight as she was in her 20s, especially if she never had children. As far as I know, giving natural birth or having a hysterectomy is the only way to make a vagina much looser than it was when she was young after having sex for a while.
Unless the guy is really thin or really thick then your vagina should tighten up to accommodate him with relative tightness.
As LonelyTwo said, if he masturbates a lot then you will feel looser, as the pressure from a hand can be much tighter than most any vagina. You being very wet will also make you feel looser. If he gives you oral or lots of manual stimulation and you have an orgasm before intercourse then you will feel looser. One trick is for the guy to have only one finger in you while he gives you oral and then you will tighten down on that one finger when you orgasm and be tight for a while when he inserts his penis.
If you have a mild yeast infection then that will make you wet. If it is mild then you might not even notice it unless it is picked up during a pap test. A mild yeast infection does not cause discomfort or any unusual smell, even for the guy if he gives you oral. My wife had one like that twice and we never realized it until the doctor's office called and said that it was detected at her annual exam.
While it is fine to discuss things like this so that both partners can have enjoyable sex, it is childish for him to keep reminding you of it the way he does. How would he feel if you pointed at his dick and laughed every time he took his pants off. No, I'm not suggesting that you do that. Just giving an example. If either of you think there is a problem with your sex then it should gently be brought up and discussed, but not in the way that he is doing it.
Some women do have weak pelvic floor muscles, which makes then looser. If that is the case for you then you can do Kegel exercises to strengthen them. Actually, doing Kegels is good for both men and women. It also helps both men and women to have stronger orgasms. If you want to check yourself out then insert 2 fingers in there and squeeze down on them. If you can feel it pretty strongly then you are not loose. If you can clamp down on just one finger then you are really good.
We have no idea how big your boyfriend is, but if he is much thinner than average then you will probably feel pretty loose for him. That is not your fault. However, that should still not make sex non-enjoyable for either of you. My wife remembers one boyfriend who was quite small and neither of them ever complained about their sex as far as she can remember.
You should not be getting looser just because the 2 of you have had a lot of sex for 2 years. If you are in fact looser then it is most likely because you are wetter than you used to be or because he is masturbating more than he used to or he has lost sensitivity during that time. However, a guy should not begin to lose sensitivity until he is in his 50s or 60s. Other than these things, I don't know what to suggest.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the replies. my usual response to him is "you made it this way!" but now im thinking more along the lines of "yeah i need someone bigger to satisfy me" :-)
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female
reader, malteser  +, writes (25 July 2009):
 It sounds like your boyfriend is a total ass hole. I am sorry if this offends you but if he loved you and cared for your feelings there is no way he would say these things. I bet it is makeing you feel very self concious and a little worthless. Is this the sort of relationship you want? Or do you want to be happy and love the way you look. We are all diffrent i wish that i had dd breasts but i dont i was in the wrong que when god handed them out. But my boyfriend has never said how small they are or mocked me for it. He loves me for what i am. And thats what matters. You need to be with someone who loves you and dosent make you feel worthless. You probley dont have the problem maybe he has a very thin dick and thats why it feels loose. Stand up for yourself and you will be better for doing so good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2009): Don't worry hun.. all you have to say is
"maybe if you weren't so da*n small, it wouldn't feel so loose!"
For real though, he is more than welcome to stop having sex with you. Is he ultimately, the reason that you're loose so if he has a problem with it, he can take it up with himself.
~Sy.
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female
reader, superbunny +, writes (25 July 2009):
 There is no way you can be as "loose" as he is saying you are. Sure you will not be the same way as you were when you were a virgin, but he's making you sound like a sixty year old women!
I'd ditch him if I were you, he sounds like a complete jerk - how dare he insult your body like then when you've trusted him enough to have sex with him and shown him the respect by not insulting his body.
Guys like this do not deserve your time - and don't even dream of letting him ruin your future sex life - everyone's different and unless you're in any discomfor - in which case you should go to the doctors - your body is fine.
Hope this helps. :)
x x x x
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2009): First, he's being really really insensitive, if a guy said that to me I'd tell him where to go. :/ Tell him to shut up; honestly, I can't believe a guy would be like that! That would bug me so much, it sounds like he does it a lot, and if he's not going to stop maybe you should tell him that if he doesn't stop then he won't have anything to insult. (In other words, no sex.)
About the worries with the next guy, don't worry. I think that there's certain things you can do if you're really worrying about being loose down there, like exercises, but maybe I just imagined it haha. Maybe look around, look on google or something? :)
If he is saying this stuff to keep you then that's even worse! :/
Best of luck.
xxx
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