A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I need some opinions about personalities, and how people perceive eachother, in this case its me.I am 24 male, hard working, single.. I am told by people and friends that I am a social butterfly because I enjoy meeting new people.With a group of friends I can be the comical one where I either say funny things or make a situation more funnier, even more flirty, but with composure, and I play on words and expressions.. I enjoy having the people around me happy.I am not hyper, but I think that I genuinely come across as a happy person, sometimes I can be a clown, but all in the name of fun, sometimes i also play on the situation in which to make light of the topic and have fun with. I don't drink much and if I do I will have a glass of wine as but when I am in a good mood, it has been mistaken for my being tipsy, which was not the case..I am naturally like that, at work I have to be extremely formal, and strict, then with friends I am playful, but i've recently made new friends, and they are wonderful, however there is 2 or 3 that look at me as if I am a bit weird, and because of the energy i have i have refrained from drinking with the group at times so that I am not branded as being the guy that the drink goes to his head quickly, and also because i am starting to feel like an idiot, but thats the way I am, but when I get called, "oh yes the crazy one" and they grin I am beginning to feel offended, and then the look as if i am being belittled... it makes me feel uncomfortable, and yes it is offending me now..I don't know what to do, or what to say, do I behave differently? do I stop being the way that i am, what are they saying ebhind my back? I believe that I am not extreme as some people can be too much at one time, but I have found myself watching what I say, or do..In short, do I just ignor this and be happy that I make people smile, or should I back down, and become quieter because iwas under the impression that the group enjoyed my company because I was energetic, and fun now I feel doubtful that I look like an idiot..It's now working on my nerves,a dn I am overthinking this..What do I do?
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female
reader, Starlights  +, writes (25 July 2009):
 no dont change.
people call you mad or crazy because you have more energy than them and this is not normal as most people have average energy, ....
but you have bundles more!
see yourself as special because you dont act like them.
at least you stand out from the crowd, and you are not hurting anyone.
you make people laugh and have a good social life.
dont let what anyone says pull you down, its you.
and your special and unique as you are.
good luck
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2009): I think if you are happy being who you are, you shouldn't feel pressured to change for anyone. I think it is great to have people like you around, people who can lighten the atmosphere.
But I can understand you feeling insecure over what was said. It could be that they didn't mean much of the comment. I think in groups of friends, everybody has a sort of "role" in the group, if that makes sense. For example, there can be the "quiet one", the "flirty one", the "clown of the group", etc, etc. I'm not saying I agree with this, but from my experience within groups this is what tends to happen. People can earn a sort of nickname, going by what their personality is like.
So it could have simply been an observational comment. Not very well-worded or tactful maybe, but I doubt it was meant as a criticism. And surely if they didn't like the way you are, they wouldn't want to spend time with you.
Maybe if there is one particular friend you feel comfortable with, you could ask them about this? Get their opinion, or at least some reassurance. But overall though, I believe we should all be accepted for who we are. The way you have described yourself, you seem like a really nice, friendly and warm person. I'm sure other's see that too. So I would say, try not to worry too much, and just be yourself! x
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