A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:On christmas eve my friends and i went to a local bar where we knew our boyfriends were hanging out because we wanted to see our boyfriends for midnight. The only problem is, i walked in and he was talking to his ex. I never had a problem with this before, but he just looked up smiled and carried on talking, didnt make any attempt to say hello until later on. It bothered me but i let it go.Then yesterday we were talking about our plans for new years eve, he told me his friend had just text him saying he coul get tickets for a bar and that they should go. Then the convoersation went onto his ex, him thinking i didnt trust him, me explaining that of course i trusted him, but i just have a personal problem with his ex, which isnothing to do with him. the conversation ended, and no more was said.Later on at his house, he went upstairs and left his pphone on the table. As anyone with an N97 knows it slides up, just passing i slid it back down again while i was waiting for the computer to load, and his inbox appeared on the screen: the last two texts were from his ex, the first line being "new years eve at.."its been bothering me ever since.. i cant tellhim because it seems like i read his texts and i didnt. also because he made a big deal over the fact he should still be able to talk to her, which i dont mind, but texting too?! and he said his mate mentioned new years eve, not her. how should i react to this?? they were together for 2 years, but we have been togethher for 3 years. i thought he was over her but now im worried, now shes recently split ip with her boyfriend. nevermind that, why would she be texting him when she knows hes in a relationship with me!??Argh someone please give me some advice its driving me insane.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2010): my boyfriend texts his ex all the time.. they have a 6 year old together, however, daily text messages arent necessary, he knows i hate this and i read his phone, so now he deletes all his messages as soon as he gets or sends them, so were kind of in the same boat.. is he doing something behind my back? or is he just trying to save my feelings?..which what he doesnt realize is that it makes it worse to not tell YOUR CURRENT girlfriend about it.. I say confront him, if he gets all defensive and mad at you, hes hiding something, if he gets sad and says hes sorry he didnt mean to hurt you or something of the sort...it may be genuine... its your call, but getting defensive and turning it around on you means hes in the wrong... hope this helps
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (27 December 2009):
If you tell a guy that you are not jealous of his female friend and he is ok to talk to him then he is going to talk to her. He will talk to her using face to face and also talk to her by text.
You clearly can't handle the fact that he's still friends with his ex, so you have to tell him that.
You can either learn to deal with it, or tell him you are leaving unless he cuts contact with her.
Do you really think she is after him? Or does she just enjoy his company?
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, pril  +, writes (27 December 2009):
Do u want the truth. It sounds like he is still into her. If he wasn't he would not be texting her. The night in the bar shows it because if he wasn't into her he would have got up and came to u as soon as u walked in. I'm sorry for my answer but it seems like that is the truth.
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A
female
reader, Jodie_Kinsz +, writes (27 December 2009):
 This girl is probably wanting to be-friend your boyfriend again at the moment, they were in a relationship for a real long time! And she probably never got over that, but she will see that he has. And don't worry, it just sounds like a weird thing that she broke up with her boyfriend around the same time, these things do happen everyday! But I can see why your becoming paranoid over it, and wanting to discover what she'd said - this is just a common re-action of trying to protect someone you love from leaving you, but it doesn't seem like he wants to leave you, he was probably just in a coversation with this girl. I don't find it weird that he didn't stop talking to her, it would have been worse if he stopped like he had something to hide, but honestly! I think he loves you, not his ex.x
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