A
male
age
30-35,
*oixtrouble
writes:HiI am 19 years old. I think i am bi since i like girls and guys. I would jack off watching straight porn. I dont really enjoy gay porn and i havent watched it that many times but i do get attracted to guys. I am straight in public. I have a lot of girls that want to be girlfriend. It gets to the point where my friends would start calling me a player. Recently i started liking my best friend. I would find myself calling him often and sometimes i cant even sleep cause of thinking about him. I met him at church 4 years ago, and been friends ever since but for college i had to move to a different city. I would sleep over at his house and sometimes he would sleep over at my place. I started to have him massage my hand or legs just an excuse to touch him. When i did this in the beginning he was just clueless. Im the type of friend that would give him advice for his girl problems. One day when we were sleeping on the same bed, i started rubbing my leg against his and he would accept it. Of course i made it seem like i just did it to keep myself warm. The funny thing is he use to consider me as his best friend and i wouldnt think of him as my best friend cause i was just to full of myself. I dont know....these days its going the other way around. This foo is my first crush but i always knew i was kind of gay inside but it wasnt a strong feeling. This guy is just bringing it out of me everytime i see him. I think he kinda got the hint. He would try to sleep next to me whenever we had sleepovers with a big group. When i choose not to touch his legs sometimes he would kinda "accidently" bump his against mine. Oh yeah there was this one night when he started rubbing his feet against mine, he asked me to take my socks off. I asked why and he said that my socks were "cold" so i did. In the morning when we wake up i would find him spooning me. I would think this is not right for me to mess with a friend that might be straight so i would avoid body contacts but when i do he starts to make contact with me and eventually makes me fall for it. Now im like totally fallin for him. This makes everything awkward. i cant txt him call him anymore. I dont think its right. I ended up even deleting my facebook so i can stop myself from going on his profile 10 times a day. Recently we went to six flags with a group of friends. Its been like 3 days since he left my place and went back to his. WOW i never missed him this much. I was sad. He txted me like 2 days ago asking me how sad i was? I said why? He said "just wondering...its cause im kind of sad and i dont know why for some reason and i thought maybe u were sad like we were connecting or sumthin". Trust me he had tons of gfs too. I would say he is not gay but maybe teasing me cause he knows i might be. Btw...I dont think im gay more bi. Yeah.....didnt txt him today and he didnt either. Im not going to try anymore. Its not right right? Its best for me to back off right?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2010): I have the same problem. I have another bi friend but he's not the one I'm into ironicly but he told me to tell the friend I like I'm bi and later casually tell him I like him. I'm not sure this'll work for you but it worked for my bi friend.
This is slightly different to youre situation but I don't think it'll be that much of a blow to a guy that rubs off you at sleep overs etc... and if you even slightly like girls you are bi. When you think it's right tell him that's what I plan to do.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2010): I totally get your problem. I have had a crush on my friend for two and a half years and I still have one on him. I dare say I love him. He doesn't know and everytime I'm around him, I shut down because I get nervous around him. I don't want to make him uncomfortable but it's killing me inside. I guess I'll make a move and see how it goes. You probably should too.
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A
female
reader, faded +, writes (6 January 2010):
 why you keep avoiding him?
you shouldn`t do that! besides hurting his feelings and tormenting him with your silence, you should be able to reach him and try to figure out if he really knows about you.
well, I don`t think he migh react in a horrific manner, but as you mentioned about your friendship, why don`t you try to let him know you`re bi?
maybe he likes you like that.
if you tell him about it...well...I can say things could get either worse, or better.It might strenghten your bond, or it might make you 2 part for ever.
so take care,but don`t forget...you can`t solve a problem by avoiding him. it makes things worse and in a while it will make you feel dreadfully uncomfortable while near him!
I got myself in a similar situation-I mean...avoiding someone...and it is not the best way to act!Be brave and face him!
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A
male
reader, jc2008  +, writes (2 January 2010):
I'm gay and have had plenty of friend crushes, none of which ammounted to anything but we can't help loving someone close to us. In a way, if you are treating this friendship as if its over then you have nothing to loose, you could tell him what you have told us and he might just say ok and laugh it off if hes straight or you might get more if he isn't. You don't want to look back with whatifs!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2010): Lol I'm 18 and I guess you could call me bi too....tho I'm a bit more attracted to the guys than the girls. I had to deactivate my fb account just to stop meself from stalking my friend too...so you're not the onli one :)
If you like him and wish to work out something more, then why not just go ahead and talk to him about it? Screw the whole "it's not right" crap and just give it your all! Oh btw.. I heard that guys with a counter-clockwise hairwhorl are more likely gay/bi than guys with a clockwise hairwhorl... but I guess it doesn't matter if he's gay or straight... as long as he likes you then that's all that matters.
P.S. I feel the same way as you do too.... wanting a family and stuff like that but I guess we're still young and we have tons of time ahead of us to make up our minds...so a couple of detours shouldn't hurt~ :P
How many decades can one life live? Just a reminder that you onli have one chance to life so why not just live it to your fullest? Don't regret the decisions you make and Good Luck
-E
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2009): oh geez I'm in the same boat as you! 19 and bisexual I guess.. haven't really told anyone yet either. I had a friend, good looking guy that gets the chicks and what not. 2 summers ago we got pretty close in our group of friends, touching and sleeping next to eachother and giving eachother pretend kisses lol. and idk, I got a vibe he was coming on to me so I kinda backed off cuz for some reason I thought he was testing me or idk. but ever since that summer, our friendship went down the drain and he's gotten a gf n stuff. but that's not important. okay real story is.. I invited my old highschool bestfriend (I moved hs my 2nd year) to my party since I haven't talked to him in months n lost his number and he closed his fb.. so I went to his house to invite him and we just stood at the door looking at eachother for what seemed like the longest time and thought to myself how much I missed this kid. I mean we would spend the night over at eachothers houses n like damn.. I like him a lot, but I know he's pretty much straight.. except this one sleepover we kinda messed around cuz we were both curious. but geez, I could really be with this guy even though it seems more right for me to have a girl in my arms. I don't know what to do about it, except to either wait or just get over it. and I guess that's the hardest thing about being bi and not out, cuz you don't know how to act upon same sex crushes. who initiates the first move? idk if I'll ever be openly bi cuz there's so many personal barriers and conflicts that'll arise if I do so. I mean, I don't think I'm living a lie.. but I guess it'd be easier to find another dude I was attracted to if they knew I was bi and would approach me too. idk if I even helped you, but I guess it's nice to know others are in the same position.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2009): I think I am bi too but we have a preference it's a fact. and your feelings for him will only get stronger with time. I suggest you tell him how you feel, and be honest like even though he may not be gay, tell him if you want to still be friends. life is too short to guess it be honest!
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A
male
reader, boixtrouble +, writes (27 December 2009):
boixtrouble is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhaha ok but another problem is that i would choose straight. I want to marry a woman and have kids. I just cant control this feeling i have for him. I would also hate to come out as bi in public soooo im thinking about just backing off until i stop feeling like this or just stop talking to him forever or just pretend that i just think of him as my best friend and act totally normal/fake.
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A
female
reader, Paigeykins +, writes (27 December 2009):
 I think that he does like you & you should try to spend more time with him. If it was me i wouldnt even really tell him i that i liked him. I would just wait until one of you guys' "sleepovers" & just make a move on him. If he goes with it, good, then tell him that you like him. If he doesnt go with it then you know how he feels. :)
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