A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi All,I would like some opinions please!! the last two times me and my BF have had sex, it seems different somehow. He kept telling me he loved me when we were doing it. When a guy says this during sex, does it mean he loves you , or loves the sex at that moment? Plus, how can you tell if it is sex or making love? as it feels more like making love to me now. Does that mean he feels like that too if I am feeling it ? Thanks x Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Miamine +, writes (29 March 2012):
 I'm curious.. why are you more interested about love words during sex, but don't seem to value love words that come outside the bedroom.
Guys say lots of nonsense in the bedroom, I've even known some cry for their mama... but outside the bedroom is different. If he has told you he loves you then why can't you believe it?
And if he's told you already that he loves you, then why are you asking if what you and him do can be called love making? It sounds like you guys are far past the friendship stage, and hearts are being opened and offered all over the place.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (28 March 2012):
 Honey why is the sex part so important… my man loves me but he can’t manage to make love…. It’s always sex with him….. I think that you having to “back off” and change who you are intrinsically to get him to be what you want has you flummoxed… and I can understand that…
you wonder if you were really yourself would he still be in love… you wonder if you go back to being yourself will he still love you….
Hard choices… be myself or be what he wants me to be….
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for answering everyone. yes, just helpin' agian, you are quite right. I do not want to become cynical at all and wnat to believe him when he says it. The thing is, it has tekn me to 'back off' somewhat for it to even have got to this level. Is that normal? I realy want to trust that he means it, and trust that it HAS gone to the next level, but I dont; know if he is making love or having sex with me. I only know how I feel.I have had too cool right off eg: not calling, pursuing, texting etc to get anywhere with this guy andnow the pressure is off him so to speak, this is how he has responded.
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A
male
reader, JustHelpinAgain  +, writes (28 March 2012):
Well I always mean it whenever I have said it. But yes, you need more evidence outside the bed to know its really true. Try hard not to become as cynical as some women have though!!
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A
male
reader, ironman777  +, writes (27 March 2012):
What I meant was that as a young man, I had a very romantised view of love and was fearful of using the word during relationships because perhaps it lead to marriage kids etc when I wasnt ready to. So it only came out after six months and at special moments such as after especially good sex.
As I got older and very much wiser you find out that there are so many different types of love. Passionate sexual love without caring, deep caring love, brief very intense love etc. In the confines of the relationship the man can expressive his love in many different ways.
In this case it does sound like your partner sounds very comfortable with you and is starting to express how he feels about you. enjoy it - its the most amazing feeling in the world to know someone loves you.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (27 March 2012):
Sounds very much like a turning point has been reached in your relationship… ENJOY it. Go with the flow and stop worrying about how he feels… he may be one of those men (like mine) who does not voice how he feels about you but you can sense it…. It’s hard to learn to trust your feelings…. Let’s both keep on trying to do so.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi So very confused . He has told me he loves me outside bed, and admitted that he did a few weeks back when I asked him, and looked me straight in the face and said ' yes i do' and since then his behaviour has changed into a much softer person, and more attentive, so i am kind of thinking that he does? I was just a bit surprised when he began shouting it ther other night during sex, plus the sex has changed somewhat. It's now very intense, and feels like love making for me, but I am not sure it does for him. it seems deeper and more emotionally connected somehow.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (27 March 2012):
I totally disagree with Ironman. I have to be honest… I dated a man that used to be very precise about it and would shout “I love it” when we were having sex.. he was very careful about what he said… what if you are with a man who is not so careful? I mean let’s be honest… when we are in the throes of sex we aren’t thinking about being precise now are we?
Does he say “I love you” at other times? Does he SHOW you he loves you?
As for the telling if it’s sex vs lovemaking.. that’s personal… sometimes it’s sex for us and sometimes it’s lovemaking… it just depends on the passion level and how I feel… and to be honest when we make love it’s usually not about intercourse… intercourse for me is sex… lovemaking is different… it involves genital contact and being in bed naked… but it’s not about intercourse… at least not in the current relationship… so lovemaking has many faces…. If you think you are making love then you are…
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhe does tell me in the cold light of day too thanks.....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2012): You are in the age bracket 41-50 and you are seriously asking that question? As for IronMan's answer ... you have got to be kidding. NEVER trust what a man tells you during sex - their brain's are not in charge at that time. The only time you believe a man when he says he loves you is in the cold light of day, and his brain is fully engaged! The same rule applies for declarations of love while under the influence of drink or drugs. Wise up!
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks Iron man for the words of encouragement! I was wondering if it was because it was at the height of passion that he said it, but that gives me alot of confidence hearing fomr a guy that he most likely meant it. x
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A
male
reader, ironman777 +, writes (27 March 2012):
Hi - if a guy says he loves you during sex it may mean he loves you all the time and the intimacy of the moment during sex allows him to express his love for you.
I would say if the man did not love you, but enjoyed the sex he would say something like "this is amazing" and would avoid the L word at all costs
So it sounds like you have got yourself a man who really does love you....
Good luck with the relationship!
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