A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: me and my boyfriend deleted facebook but i keep finding out he goes back on it. i feel kind of sad for him that he can't live without it. but i don't see the need for it. he said he didn't want it so i don't understand why he keeps going on it. should i at all be worried?
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionoh yeah, he also says to me all the time that getting rid of it was the best thing he did..
which is why i'm concerned he can't tell me the truth.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhey everyone. thanks for your responses to this.
i never 'made' him get rid of facebook nor do i stop him talking to his friends. infact, he was the one to suggest it in the first place. so we both got rid of it.
the thing is, i wouldn't mind if he had it, at all. i mean i'd rather him tell me, then either i'd get mine back or at least we'd have an understanding.
we have had problems before about it. he said if he wanted it back he wouldn't lie to me, but that's why i'm suspiscious about it.
i don't know why he'd feel the need to lie to me. i am approachable & we are really close.
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A
female
reader, Duckyhelp +, writes (28 May 2010):
everyone has facebook, its how people keep in contact with friends. im on facebook right now, my boyfriend has facebook and are both on it a lot.
If you get facebook you are able to see everything he does. so you dont need to be so suspicious of everything he does.
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A
female
reader, EbonyBlossom +, writes (28 May 2010):
Well for a start, why don't you have it? Why did he both delete it? Social networking is a really good way to keep in contact with your mates so it's understandable that he didn't want to give it up. Maybe he's worried about how you would react if you found out he was still using it. However, if he has no reason to think you would react badly, then maybe he is up to something suspicious.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (28 May 2010):
Why would you try to make him delete his facebook? Just because you don't enjoy facebook doesn't mean he shouldn't. It's just a fun way to check up on friends and stay in touch. Do you also think he shouldn't have an email address? It's not really fair of you to try to make him not go on facebook unless he is doing things like trying to hook up with exes or something, and even then it would just be a reason to break up with him, not force him to delete his facebook.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2010): Alot of people find it a great way to keep in touch with friends and family. In that sense its brilliant. But some find temptation too much and break trust with a partner by becoming, shall we say, too friendly with others. Or they have ex's floating about on FB like bad smells causing trouble. If you both deleted your profiles because of problems, i can understand your bf's activity being a concern. But if hes just being sociable, he should be allowed to use it if he wants to. Why not set up an account as a couple. That way he can satisfy his need to use it and you will also be able to use it should you wish, even if its just to check he is behaving appropriately.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2010): Don't be too concerned. Maybe he has recognized that he is addicted to it, thus the "he said he didn't want it," but he is fairly weak inside and thus still visits it. I too have been addicted to websites, and it takes some self control to break the addiction. Maybe even blocking the website altogether will work.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2010): He obviously wants to have facebook. I don't think that's a issue as long as he's not on it to the point where it's interfering with his life. The problem: Why doesn't he want you to think he wants facebook? Do you belittle him for using it? If so, give the guy a break and let him have it. However, if he's using it to hit on girls, then you have a problem. Personally, I'd leave him alone about it and get my own facebook account. You can put the bare minimum of info. on there. I know a lot of people don't use their real last name on it, so it's untrackable. Then, you barely need to use it, but you can see who his friends are on there and what types of things they are saying to him.
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