A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi,My boyfriend and I have been together for 10 months now on and off, for reasons which weren't our fault i.e. family members going into hospital and depression and stress due to it.We finally seem to be back on track again for the last two months, however he used to phone me and talk to me constantly, and now that has become a thing of the pass, and we only make contact if I start the phone calls, texting and dates to meet up first.When we last met up a few days ago, everything was fine and his behavior was exactly like usual. He said he has loved me the entire time, and we spoke about the different girls he talks to and I didn't feel at all jealous as he said I was the only one he wanted. However I was then informed by him that a girl that keeps phoning him asked him to come around to her house at 11 at night, and also asked if he was staying at some arrangements so that they could meet up at night.I expressed my dislike at this and we had an argument as he didn't think that she was offering more than friendship however I believed that it was getting too far. He seemed not to be listening while I was calmly explaining my opinion on this girl, but once I said I was feeling that I was losing him to her, he quickly said that I wasn't and that the girl was no where near as great as me.I still feel this jealousy towards her which is very strong, and I've realised that I want to know where my boyfriend is and with who, which I never want to happen. My previous relationships have always ended bad where he likes another girl, and I'm certain that my current boyfriend does not like this girl, yet I don't know how to express my feelings about this to him, or what to do about the strong bouts of jealousy.
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female
reader, love-struckxo  +, writes (23 May 2009):
 If your boyfriend is going to go out of his way and meet up with this girl - then yeah you should be jealous.
Whether they are just friends or something more - I don't know, and sounds like either do you.
I would suggest talking to him about your feelings, but since you already did.. Next best bet is talking to the girl. Let her know, that you have NO problem with the two of them being friends.. but if she tries snatching your boyfriend up - thats when you will draw the line!
Tell your boyfriend the same thing.
You can't keep them from being friends if thats all they want to be, but you should still have some say in this relationship, and if he REALLY loves you like he says he does, he will take your feelings somewhat into consideration - and respect them.
There is NO need for a midnight 'hang out' I mean, why not hang out in the day, if they are SUCH great friends, where everyone can see?
I think you have ALOT of thinking to do, my friend..
best of luck
xx
A
female
reader, Reeca +, writes (23 May 2009):
 Why does your boyfriend need to go round to this girls house at this time of night, if she is just a friend and she wants to see him she can arrange to see him during the day and he can take you along with him if it is only friendship.
Unfortunately there is no easy cure for jealously you either ignore whats happening (I don't advise this) or you find out what is going on.
The fact you are ringing him and he isn't making the effort tells you he is not bothered dont be under any illusions if a guy likes you he WILL make an effort!
I would say he wants to keep you stringing along but also wants to see what else is out there with this girls and maybe others.
I see you are very young as well I would not worry you have a long time to meet someone who will make the effort and treat you with the respective you deserve.
Tell him if he wishes to meet up with this girl you don't want him going to her house and if he refuses dump him! Plenty more fish in the sea!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2009): It's pretty obvious that he's having her over for a "booty call" and stringing the both of you along. I think you are being pretty naive here and he's taking advantage of that.
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