| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I am totally confused at the moment. I am a married mum of three young boys one of which has special needs and we are going through a tough time at the moment trying to get him into a new school.I am by no means a perfect person in anyway but I am struggling to deal with whether I am going loopy or whether what my husband is doing or saying is right.I haven't wanted to be intimate with him for a long time. Obviously this is frustrating him. I have suggested marriage guidance and he said he would only go if it was a sex therapist to get me having sex again - and since a row we had last night he denied saying that to me.He is fighting with the school as well about keeping my son in for as long as possible even though everyone knows he needs to go to a special school.Last night he asked me a question relating to sex and asked me to listen which I did, when I responded he half interrupted me. I finally told him how I felt that I didn't feel I loved him anymore and I had had enough. He kept asking me why and I said that I felt at times that I was dealing with a fourth little boy on my hands. Anyway he carried on at me and I walked out the room because I had had enough. I sat on the computer and he came in and I said I need space leave me alone. He said no grabbed the chair I was on and swung it away from the computer and switched it off. That did frighten me. So I went to head for the front door. I said I had had enough and I wanted a break. I said I wanted the kids with me but he said no if I wanted the break I should go to my mums and he would look after the children and there was no way I was having them. He said if you can't cope then you can't cope with the children. I said well we need a six month break and he said no because you will either move on or get used to being single again.He asked me if the marriage meant anything to me and I said it had and he said when he got married he got married for life. So we carried on talking and then he burst into tears and said his dad given him some money which he had used to pay for our childminder and for my a new mobile for me after mine broke. Then he stopped crying and got quite angry again. I turned round to him and said that he needed to see a counsellor, I was happy to go to one for me as well but he needed to see one and I said that our marriage could not continue unless he saw someone. Now I feel like I am the one that is using emotional blackmail but I am actually doing it to get things sorted out.When we up to bed he turned round and said if you take the children away from me I will kill myself and I said don't be silly and he said the family mean everything to me and if I am without them I will kill myself.So I don't know what to do.
View related questions:
a break, emotional blackmail, money, move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2009): why would you even consider taking the kids away from him. he is their father and he has every right to be part of their lives. it doesn't matter whether you both are divorced or not, he is actually a dad in a million, still wanting his kids.
a lot of dad also divorce their kids when they divorce their waives. your hb may not be a perfect hb and you may not love him anymore but i think he is a great dad. so whatever the outcome please ensure that he is part of their lives.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2009): He is the one emotionally blackmailing! You are not responsible for his actions, although it is a scary risk to take. Insist on counselling for both of you!
If he contiues to refuse, then, you go! Hopefully in time he will follow. And even if he doesn't you will learn to deal with him in a healthy way.
If at any time, you feel threatened by him...leave at once! Don't be afraid to call the police if he puts his hands on you in a threatening way!
Good luck!
Britt
...............................
|
