A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Has anyone experienced this with their husbands after many years of marriage? The thing is that I started to avoid being around my husband. We always had good relationship, never argued much, but lately about a year I caught myself on a thought that being around him is stressful for me and not that much fun. I prefer to be with my friends or alone but not with him. Also when we visit our daughter together, I feel annoyed with him, and wish he was not there. When we go on vacation together, this vacation is kind of a shade in my memory afterwards. When I go by myself or with friends it's bright and full of memories and fun. When we go out, he has couple drinks and starts little arguments what I said , what he said. Yesterday, I kicked him out of my room, and told him that the way he stresses me out is getting too much. Then I couldn't fell asleep and had to take a sleeping pill. When I am around him, I want to have a drink to make the tension to go away. When I was by myself for a week in a foreign country, I felt so good, and hardly had any drinks. Now, he wants to see my mother in law who is getting weaker by the minute. We were planning on going in September. The thought horrifies me. I just can't force myself to be around him and his family together for a whole week, though I have nothing against his family, they like me and I like them, it's just a combination. ..My father tells me that there is no way I can not to go. He said, it would be an awfull things to do not see may be for the last time my mother in law. Weeks go by, and we are doing less and less things together. He most nights stays in a house, I have my dance classes At night, girls nights out, and when I am home, I go upstairs and stay there behind closed doors, doing my own things, reading, TV. He never offers anything to do. Weekend comes, he doesn't mind spending time in a house all day. Not even beach, if I don't offer we don't go anywhere. Ussualy when he goes to Europe to see his parents, we meet afterwards in a another country and spend a week together. This time, I keep silence about it, and he says nothing. I don't know may be its a natural course of events, and I should go along with it and live till old age with him? It's just seems so boring, and at times stressful and making no sense this living together. Of course I care about him, and if something happens I will be there for him, but as far as spending the rest of my life with him... I have doubts. Also, our sex life though it happens sometimes is very infrequent, which people tell me is also natural after so many years.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2014): Never been married and since I have always felt a bit invisible to the opposite sex the situation feels permanent. I thank you for posting this. Sometimes I feel lonely or sad but when I hear things like this I realize how free I am. I do my own thing; can find my own challenges and need not to worry if she still loves me. I read a lot, go out with friends, look at girls without feeling guilty about my non-existing wife's opinion on that. It's like living in the cold mountain but it's my mountain. Hope you find a solution. Not simple. R
A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (5 July 2014):
Yes, that happened to me. It was the beginning of the end for us, as I realized we were totally incompatible and always had been. I don't know whether that's the case for you.
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