A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I love my boyfriend with all my heart ...but lately we've been fighing so much and its makes me unhappy...he always asks me to go round his to watch a movie and he says its just gonna be me and him.. but then he tells me his mates are coming to and then wonders why i get so angry with him i mean you dont say its gonna be a quite night in with just us two then invites his mates round ..i mean his mates are amazing and i dont mind them coming round cos they treat me with respect and they make me laugh.But he does this all the time ..i get excited that i get to spend some time with him cos hes been at work all day and i miss him ..hes done this about 6 times now...he also makes plans with me then goes away and makes plans with other people then dont tell me intill the actual day ..ive told him about this loads of time and i always say im sick of coming last and i say i cant take it and say im going but i always feel bad cos he starts to cry and i always feel bad and give him a cuddle ..what can i say to him to make him understand that im not a door mat for him and what can i say to him to make him understand it not fair on my feelingsI really do need help
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (29 January 2011):
 Yeah i agree it doesnt sound like you are moaning to him at all, in fact you are feeling unhappy at the way things are but you love him that much you are trying to find a way to blame yourself.
You just need to be strong enough and stand up to him you need to find the strength to leave him if he refuses to meet you in the middle or else you will just spend the rest of your days being a doormat. Goodluck.
A
male
reader, rouge  +, writes (27 January 2011):
 No, it does not. What it sounds like is you're becoming his door mat. Cheers ;)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDoes it sound like im moaning at him tho?
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A
male
reader, rouge +, writes (27 January 2011):
I agree with Aunt Honesty, you need to set some ground rules. If he does love you like you love him then he will be willing to meet in the middle and spend time with you. Tell him that if he does not start spending time with you then he does not love you as much as he says he does. No matter what someone says ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THEN WORDS.Hope this helped you out. Cheers ;)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBut i always say im leaving him but i dont think i have the strength to do it ...hes been the best boyfriend i ever had but when he does this it affects me more ..so i find it so hard to leave him...i really do need to be strong...what words can i say to him cos ive sed everything to him and im losing all hope now
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (27 January 2011):
All you need to do is stand up to him. If he cries then let him but you need to show him that you are not going to take this sort of behaviour from him. Currently you are giving in to easily and its showing him that he can behave this way and get away with it.
So its time to sit down with him and talk to him. Tell him you want to meet up with him to talk, just the both of you, and tell him how you feel. Tell him that you dont mind hanging out with his friends but that you both need time alone as well and also that when he cancels plans on you it is hurtful. Therefore you both need to meet in the middle. Maybe once or twice a week you can both make plans alone together and stick to them. Tell him you are not messing around that if he doesnt start taking your feelings seriously that you are going to go and there will be no second chances. Goodluck.
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