A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So basically, I'm having doubts about my boyfriend's feelings towards me. He has never been very expressive with his emotions but recently he has become even less so. He rarely tells me he loves me without me having to say it first, he rarely compliments me and he just seems generally less interested in me than ever before. He is going back to university in a few weeks yet doesn't seem to want to savour the time we have together, unlike me. I feel that he just can't wait to get back to his university life. I just feel a bit unloved and uncared for- almost taken for granted. I am much more expressive in my love for him- I give him lots of hugs and send hiim nice texts etc. Just little things to let him know I care. I'm getting sick of getting nothing back. Maybe I'm being too attention-craving, I don't know, but it's starting to get me down. I'm going to miss him lots when he starts his next term at university and I'm worried that he just isn't really going to miss me. Am I wasting my time? I have the feeling that if he knew I was feeling like this he would be very upset, yet if that is the case, why doesn't he think it is necessary to show me that he cares more than he is doing at the moment? We are approaching our one year anniversary of being together but I have no idea if he's even remembered. I've made him a little present that took me quite a long time to make but will feel awkward giving it to him if he just doesn't think it is a day worth celebrating. I'm just so confused. I don't want to be needy and annoying but I just think that in a long-term relationship it is important that you both know that you still love eachother, and that neither of you should have to have doubts. Please help guys :)
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Original shiraz! +, writes (2 September 2009):
Firstly i dont think you crave attention at all, its got to work both ways and your bound to feel this way when it doesnt, dont start blaming yourself for his faults.
Its hard to say why hes acting as he is, maybe after a year together he feels your over the 'honeymoon period' as they say and you dont need to know he loves you. Guys assume girls fall into that routine/pattern with them of once there together they are so used to one and other etc that surprises love hugs and kissess all go out the window! A lot of women are feeling the way you do, when you start to question yourself thats when the bigger issues start, i dont feel your in the wrong here and its not fair to take the balame for wanting to be loved.
Have you talked to him about it? maybe the more open and honest you are the more hell give back, i dont mean full of emotion, thatll send him the other way! just telling him how you miss the simple things and how you want that fire that buzz back into your relationship.
Start by telling him how you want to make the most of your time together as you know how hectic its going to be in a few weeks when its back to normaility. Tell him youll miss him, give him what youve got and if you get nothing back its time to start being plain simple and honest.
Put it all on the table and tell him how hes making you feel, your feeling unloved by someone who you give your all.
It must be awful you feeling that hes simply waiting to get back im sure hes not, you need to talk to him about it no matter how much he dismissess it as nothing the hurt will only continue and a wedge will be built that drives you even further apart.
If you feel its something worth hanging on to then give him one last shot, see if he does remeber the anniversary, see how he reacts. I think you said it all in your last paragraph, why not say that to him? take it from im just so confused.. you worded it really well its how your feeling and it needs an answer, one your only going to get from him.
Best of luck
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