A
female
age
30-35,
*wasti
writes:Hey friends... I am going through a very depressed state of my life. I need your help to get out of this.I have been in a relationship with this guy since 4 years. Previously, everything was going awesome. But now too much of fights are going between us. And, the reason is him, his behaviour, his ego and his dominating attitude. Frankly speaking, we both are very close to each other. But recently I am just not able to tolerate him. He hurts my self respect, says me anything without even thinking how it will effect me, and the main thing is he doesnt even feel guilty for whatever he does. He is just ok with it. He never comes to console me. Ultimately, I have to say him sorry and solve the matter. Secondly, because of my detoriating studies and some selfish friends, I usually remain upset. In that situation I need and expect his support. Sometimes I get frustrated because of all this and he adds more to this frustration. He never supports me. In his eyes, he is the perfect one and can't do anything wrong. He never says a sorry. And when I say of breakup, He will call several times, send some senti messages and I can't resist to talk to him. But after that again his egoistic behaviour returns. One more thing that is irritating me is that, he always takes money from me and never even think of returning. Every small spending to the payment of resturant's bill is done by me. He never even asks to pay. He never gives me a gift in any of the special occasions. And, when needed He asks me to lend him money, that may be 1000-2000, and he never returns that. His this kind of nature also irritates me.I am just too much frustrated. I don't know how to deal with him. Please tell me what should I do.
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male
reader, raaz +, writes (16 February 2013):
boys are always looking for benefits(mostly).he got that u will go far away from him.he dont want miss u.think urself regarding he is better or not
A
female
reader, Dayzy  +, writes (17 January 2013):
If this guy doesn't end up eventually being physically violent toward you, he will make your life hell. He is a danger to your health through the stress you will have through being in an abusive relationship. You said you fight but, a fight is when 2 people have equal power, but when one person has all or most of the power and control it is bullying and abuse. Be really strong and get rid of this guy quickly. He will try to keep you, but don't listen. People like him say they're sorry when they think they will lose you but they DON"T change. Stop apologising to him and leave. Be very strong and firm with him and yourself. Also get some councelling so that you don't end up with another guy like this. Abusers will always start of nice and make you think they will be good to you. This guy is and abuser!!!!!! See if you can get a safety network of people who can help you keep him away. You can do better and you deserve better than this.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2013): OP two things, one he's not the problem, you are because you're too much of a pushover. He owns you and part of the reason he does is because you seem to be lacking in a good support network.
First off if he doesn't pay you back, either accept that or stop giving him money, stop paying his way in life. If this is not working for you walk away and turn off your phone, get a new number and give that to important people only.
OP you should go see a counsellor in your college though. You need some support, you need someone you can talk to and help you find the strength to cope here.
Above all though grow some balls, why are letting this guy walk all over you? Because you're weak? Well you're screwed then OP, weak people are fodder for us strong people to use and abuse as we see fit. This won't be the last guy to treat you this way until you learn how to say to no.
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A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (15 January 2013):
In this situation you have to tell yourself that he's being abusive and abusive behavior often escalates until you are scared for your safety. It's very important to get out before that happens.
Because he is controlling its best for you to simply leave a note that tells him you've wanted to leave but didn't know how to say it and that this isn't open to discussion, you're leaving. Don't contact him and tell him not to contact you. You may even change your number or at the least block his.
It'll be hard and you'll probably want to go back but it's like quitting smoking; the best way is to quit completely and never look back.
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