A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been going out for almost 2 years now and we love each other very much. I love him and I know he loves me but he has some temper issues that's usually caused by him being tired, busy, stressed, pressured, or uncomfortable. Unfortunately, I'm always at the receiving end of it. No, he doesn't beat me up, he doesn't verbally abuse me either - he's just cranky towards me.Recently he started working, so he's always tired and busy. If he's tired and busy, he gets really cranky. During breaks I talk to him through the internet, through facebook to be exact. He's always talking to at least 2 other people besides me, and when he talks to others he seems nice and pleasant, and he replies to others right away but when he's talking to me he can be really harsh or cold, and he takes too long to reply.Usually this is what would happen (and this actually just happened a few minutes ago): I'd send him a message, he would reply and things seem fine. I wait for him to reply again then I see him replying to everyone else constantly, and more than he replies to me so I ask how come he's ignoring me, and that's when he starts to get annoyed. He tells me to wait for my turn, he's busy, that I'm not the only one he's talking to and that I get to talk to him when he gets home so I should be patient. That would've been fine but does he have to be mean to me? He doesn't give anyone else an attitude so I point it out and tell him that if he doesn't want me talking to him during his breaks then I won't. He apologizes and says he doesn't mean it, and he really wants to talk to me during his breaks. He's only like that because he's tired and cranky. Blah blah blah but if that was the case then how come I'm the only one he's being mean to? How come no matter how many times I point it out and he apologizes it still happens?So please help me out. I don't know what to do. And please don't say that I should break up with him. This is really just one of those small problems we can work on, I just don't know how to fix it. I want to get this fixed because it's been happening a lot lately, and I don't want this to turn into something major.Any help will be appreciated. Thank you very much!
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male
reader, sam44  +, writes (26 January 2011):
Try to tell him how you feel, i mean tell him it affects you. I used to date someone like that. Usually this kind of a person uses their better half as a outlet for their stress. Trust me, with time you'll start to resent him if he doesn't change. Tell him to treat you better, or you will leave. Why should you stick with someone who doesnt pay attention to you? He should change,period. Dont justify him that he is stressed and whatnot. It will eventually start getting to you. goodluck.
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