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Boyfriend has let me down again. How do I handle this?

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 August 2010) 4 Answers - (Newest, 19 August 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I think im at the end of my fuse! my boyfriend has let me down again tonight.... hes off to v festival tomorrow and when i last saw him on monday he said he would call round even if it was just brief to say hi before he went. well i had to text him about meeting up today and now it seems he just doesnt have the time.

Its not the first time this has happened and a few things over the past few weeks including this today has just made me think i should txt him bk saying 'forget it' he just doesnt get that these things mean something to me.

Do i send the txt or not? i am prety wound up at the minute and know i could regret but it may make him stand up and think? Advice needed please! thanks x

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A male reader, dirtball United States +, writes (19 August 2010):

dirtball agony auntGood to hear.

Has this taught you anything about overreacting?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thanks for the replies... hes actually just called by to see me. he called me and came round... it was only for 30 mins but at least he came. im still going to have a think over the weekend about things though x

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A male reader, dirtball United States +, writes (19 August 2010):

dirtball agony auntFor god sakes don't text that!

My advice is to sleep on it. Give yourself a chance to unwind. Maybe take a relaxing bath with some scented candles or something so you can calm down. Nobody should ever break up via text. A friggin dear john letter is better.

If you want to make him "stand up and think," then sending a break up text isn't the way to do it. That doesn't mean you shouldn't break it off, but that text won't do anything other than make you look like a chicken who couldn't break up properly.

My suggestion (after you've unwound), is to call him after he gets back and get together to talk. Tell him that you feel unimportant to him because he can't take a minute to send you a text or make a quick call. That you've told him this before and that because he still can't take the time to do these little things, you don't think your relationship will work anymore. This way you can witness his reaction. Is he upset, stoic, indifferent, happy, that will tell you a lot about what he's feeling. Especially since he doesn't sound like the type that knows how to express them well.

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A female reader, FluffyPie United States +, writes (19 August 2010):

FluffyPie agony auntMake him miss you. DO NOT send any text until he does. Move on with your life.

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