A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Please you guys out there, help me!!! Since early on in our relationship my bf liked to talk dirty ok i tried it he liked it for a while, but then wanted more. So we started watching porn while having sex and looking at pictures of naked women and NOW he doesn't want to have sex without it. I have made sex videos with him and posed nude for pictures but he has already seen those so is not interested. I am beautiful and hot 5' 5'' 118 llbs with natural D boobs and a booty jLo is jealous of, he says i'm by far the hottest and prettiest girl he's ever been with. I don't want to sound full of myself but its important for the question. So I dress up in super hot lingerie and come to him and he's like NICE! turn on the computer! it's ok every once in a while but i am tired of only seeing my bf get off while staring at a screen and ignoring me while I am on top of him! what's worse, that's not even enough for him anymore, we had sex on a chat video site in front of other people (gross), then that wasn't enough so we found people online that have sex with through the webcam! I don't like any of it, I just want to have sex.I am willing to dress up like anything, role play anything, I just dont want any porn or other people involved. (well maybe porn once in a while is ok, but we've tried that and it never works because he asks for porn every time and if i say no he doesnt want to have sex anymore) Also, I am ALWAYS up for sex. I would like it every day, he likes it more 3 times a week but thats fine with me, I get hornier having to wait a little so thats ok. I don't mind only having sex when he wants, I just want him to want to have sex with just me! I mean we're talking about getting married and having kids (he is the one that brings it up) and I can't even imagine marrying or having children with a guy who needs this kind of sex!Sometimes I think he's addicted to fantasies, sometimes I think he's just lazy! He never gets on top EVER either, so maybe he doesnt need more extreme things, its just easier and he's really lazy? PS I have had great sex with every other boyfriend I have had without any problems or porn ever, they have all said in the sex category it can't get any better. PS (every guy i've been with has said I give the best head ever and ask me where the hell i learned how to do it bc its so amazing, and I LOVE giving it, I would be happy doing it every day if the guy let me!!!!)I don't know, but what can I do??? I love him so much, really, hes perfect for me in every way except sexually. I have tried doing what he wants (I have gotten turned off and grossed out by all of it) and it always gets more extreme the more I do, so I know it's not like if I do it he will be satisfied, because he always wants more. I feel like i'm not good enough or not enough sexually which I have never felt before, and i don't think i should feel that way. Is there any way I can save our relationship? Is there any way I can get him to lose the fantasy and just enjoy having sex with me? Any way I can get him to stop needing more extreme things and just want me?Pleas help, I am desperate, especially people who have been through something similar, or guys that might have insight to what I can do to bring him back to reality. Or let me know if you think he is a lost case, if he will need extreme sex his whole life or lose interest.PS one time we didnt have sex for like 3 weeks and I got out of the shower wet and naked and came into the bedroom and climbed into bed with him and he ignored me and started looking at porn instead of trying something with me, when I got upset he got mad saying he was too tired to have sex (weird because he just lies on his back while i do everything) but he wanted to look at porn, and he shouldn't have to hide it from me. also he knows I always want sex so its not like he didnt want to bother me, I was desperate for it.Please help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, svf  +, writes (15 August 2011):
 I think you need to seriously rethink this relationship. Get rid of him. From what you have written, he is just plain SELFISH and LAZY. You are sexy, beautiful and hot - find someone else please - you don't have to put up with slim pickings or second best. He needs porn to get off - tell him to go F*** himself!And the lack of it - believe me, I would get the shits if I only had sex 3 times a week and I was in love with my boyfriend as much as you seem to be, he's obviously wanking too much... You should be having it twice a day if not every day at your age!Get a guy who will satisfy you, you are too young to be settling down for this type of treatment! Why should you be compromising yourself and putting your dignity and self esteem at risk for this man? He doesn't deserve so much pleasing when you are getting nothing out of it. Sex on the internet with webcam and videos? Can you really trust him? How would you feel if you were all over the internet for all and sundry to see you going for it? I can't imagine it's going to really turn you on when you're with your next partner. And you have to do all the work and get on top, bugger off... he can get stuffed. Jayzus...grrrrr - I really feel sorry for you, poor love. Take care and good luck x.
A
male
reader, clutchcargo +, writes (12 August 2011):
 Wow I feel for you. If he is as old as you are teen age sexual inhibitions can't be the problem. I think you are dealing with a huge helping of selfishness.It seems you have the balanced attitude, some porn is ok but let's have some intimate monogamous sex also. A woman with a good body image, healthy sex appetite, above average looks and a true interest in her partner. Come on you are one in a million.If a serious talk with him expressing your feelings regarding his totally passive approach to sex and need for "other" stimulation to perform does not produce some results, I fear you are in a dead end relationship with a 25 year old boy who needs a mother for a partner.
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A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (11 August 2011):
 Sex is important to you and you are not connecting with your bf on that level. There is nothing wrong with telling him that YOU have sexual needs that need to be met, and porn kills the mood for you most of the time.
Is he able to get off without porn in any way? If not, then you have a huge issue and sex has become dysfunctional if you have to keep inviting others into your bedroom via a computer monitor.
Have you told him, it turns you off? Have you had any kind o
You may care for him in other ways, but he does not seem to care for YOU enough to just be with you during a time that you want to be personal AND hot.
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