A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello Iam 33 recently met a man 34years old who was very interested in mehe told me interesting things about his past about his thug life and that he has slept with many womeneven there was a time he had 6 girlfriends all to be used for sex. Even at one time he made a woman carrying his child have an abortion because did not want to be with her. He said his past life was about sex just dating women for sex. But he is ready to change if he finds the right woman to marry.Listening to all this i was really disgusted about how a man would use women like tissues but i was thinking he might changeBut recently while we were chatting on skype he put a picture of him and his ex, I asked why do you put this picture he said because he likes that picturei really dont understand we have been together for 1 year and he behaves like this, i dont know what to do I have not let him touch me because iam waiting for marriagei would like to hear your opinion
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abortion, his ex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (6 June 2012):
 Forcing you to accept a picture of him and his ex? How? You should have ended it there. You know how men on dating profiles put pictures up with them and women hugging each other? You know how tactless that is? They seem to think that would make them more attractive but that's furthest from the truth.
A
female
reader, mavuyi  +, writes (6 June 2012):
 i say run and don't look back. Delete him. #nufsaid#
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A
female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (6 June 2012):
 "Do I need to end things?"
YES.
Disgusting as he is, SweetThing's advice about ending it with tact and grace is something to pay attention to.
Just tell him that having given it a lot of thought, you don't think the two of you are well-matched and therefore you have decided it is best to end all contact. I recommend doing this over the phone in case he reacts violently (remember, he boasted about his "thug life." Give him a BRIEF moment to absorb the news and then allow him to say something in reply, but then disconnect. DO NOT let him start to try to persuade or threaten you into not ending it! Nor should you let him draw you into a long drawn-out discussion.
After that, I recommend blocking his number so he can't phone you again. If he comes to your door, don't open it. Does he have a key to your home? If so, get your locks changed! If necessary call the police for a protection order.
I'm not trying to be melodramatic. Hopefully, beyond blocking his number you won't need to take any further measure (except changing the locks if he has a key). I'm just thinking in the(I hope unlikely) event of a worst-case scenario......
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Sweet-thing +, writes (6 June 2012):
 So let me get this straight. Early on in this relationship he opened up to you that he: A) Once juggled 6 women which he used for sex. B) The woman who was carrying his child, he forced to have an abortion. C) He used to be (and possibly still is) a thug. And yet you still remained with this guy? I would have found the door after he revealed A. So clearly he has warned you about the kind of person he is. Yet he has tethered you to him by making you think he "might" be able to change and you have stuck it out through thick and thin, thinking he would. This is the best psychology game a man has ever played on a woman. He gets an A+ for his skills of understanding that most women love the idea of reforming a "bad boy". Only in this case he has yet to be reformed and you are wasting your precious time waiting for it to happen. Yes you should leave him and move on but if I were you, do so with tact and grace. A guy who used to run with thugs will not appreciate looking foolish. Let him down easy and then move to another town. Leave no forwarding address. He will never change. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, jewlstep4174 +, writes (6 June 2012):
 you need to end things with this man , cause if he was using 6 women at once before , most likely, he is right now to you. I know you have been together a year and it is hard but if your waiting for marriage , he is getting it from someone else I am afraid to say.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2012): hello no he put that picture on that day we chatted, he tried to force me to accept it.
And i have been seeing him for 1 year ,yes we went on few dates
because he works 12 hours a day as a cook
but we talk on skype for hours.
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A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (6 June 2012):
 Dump him.
He may very well change when he finds the right woman, but clearly that woman isn't you.
You can do so much better.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (6 June 2012):
"But he is ready to change if he finds the right woman to marry."
It doesn't work that way. If he is the right man himself, then the right woman would want to be with him. As for the skype picture maybe he hasn't used skype for one year and forgot to take down the picture. So did he take it down after you mentioned it?
You said you met a man recently. Then you said you have been together one year. How many times have you gone out on dates?
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