A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I chat online everyday, but sometimes work gets in the way, and days go by.My boyfriend rarely uses his phone, and he doesnt like texting me often, because we're LDR and its expensive for him, though I've offered to help pay.I'm hurt he doesnt want to expand our communication. I have to pay for my texts too, but I think it's worth it. He's agreed to send me texts sometimes, but only when needed. I'd like to use it for more then that.Are guys just satisfied with less communication? Do I push this further, or let it go? I see it as essential, but I'm trying to understand his view.
View related questions:
text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (1 July 2011):
 have you met this BF in real life yet? how long have you been together? how often can/do you see each other?
my bf does not need daily contact but he deals with it because I do... sometimes it's just email... he hates to text...
and yes life does get in the way of work and work does get in the way of life...
A
male
reader, mrg123  +, writes (30 June 2011):
 Well I think your question at the end is very generic but the issue is actually very specific. Personally, I think that different people prefer different levels of communication and there are girls who would be just as reserved as your guy is.Things like the attachment level to your phone are also personal things. Equally I think there could be an element of pride in not wanting to accept money from you. I think all these things need to be considered in your response to him. Personal quirks aside its obvious that the real issue is that the communication issues are making you feel uncared for. How can you address this? Well I think you need to not so much confront him as simply tell him how you feel and how you are feeling neglected. I think your right to see communication as essential, in fact, I think its key to any relationship but I think your circumstances demand a creative approach to how you facilitate that. When you talk to him, this I think you need to come up with a solution that doesnt involve you have to give him money. You say you talk on line, do you do so by IM or Skype? Skype would at least allow you to talk like you were on the phone. Are there options other than texting? For example, I dont know what phones you have but BlackBerrys have free BlackBerry Messenger which would be ideal for you two. Good luck :)
...............................
A
female
reader, Shelley Harris +, writes (30 June 2011):
 Hi,
I'm sorry to hear that your guy doesn't communicate much. Go back and read what you've written. When you have a relationship with anyone, communication has to come first. If it's this way now, what will it be like in the future. See if the situation improves, if not, then you may have to move on. Even guys that are not generally communicative will make an effort if they are in love.
Good Luck
Shelley
...............................
|
