A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Since I found out my SIL is moving closer to us my anxiety is outta control. We moved states away from the Inls and I was so relieved for years. My Inls hate me they do not do anything for our son. My husband has stood his ground to these people about them disrespecting me and belittling me. They went years without speaking. So now they all act like everything is "hunky dorey" it makes me sick. My SIL is engaged and we was the first people who my MIL called. It burned her ears when she found out her son proposed to me. It was so bad we eloped to get married and told no one they eventually found out. I tell my husband his mother and sisters never call to speak to my son they could care less. It makes a huge arguement its not fair to me and he tells me i gotta get along with them for the sake of him i married him not his family.. the kicker is I am nice to them but the MIL and SIL say things in a sneaky bitchy way I am the only one who picks up on it. He thinks his mother has improved her old ways but she is steal the same old witch she's always been. Any suggestions?? I have never done anything to these people accept marry the only son.. Why can't they be happy for us and be nice??
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female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (30 June 2011):
 My guess is they are against you because you eloped. They may feel cheated out on the experience to see their son get married?
Regardless, you can not make them like you. Be the best YOU and let your husband handle them. Keep consistent boundaries. They are going to think whatever they want, whenever they want, if you let them get to you...they win!
Chances are they called your husband to announce the engagement because he is their son/brother.
You teach people how to treat you. Get some thicker skin (stop being so sensitive to the nasties people say or think) and be in agreement with your husband about how much interaction you will be having with his family.
Consider that they may be mending the relationship with him. He may want a relationship with his Mother someday.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (30 June 2011):
 I guess they have taking a spite to you for whatever reason and there is nothing that anyone says that will change there mind. But your husband is right here am afraid. They are his family. You need to see it from his point of view, I understand that you are his wife but his mother gave birth to him and he wouldn't be here if it wasn't her. I understand that it was him that you married. But am afraid the in laws are part of the package when you married him. You just need to be the bigger person here and don't let them get to you. I know it is easier said than done but for your husbands sake just bite your tongue and don't play them at there own game. Just be as nice as you can be to them it will only annoy them more.
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