A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and Mum don't quite get on since he seems offhand and disrespectful when he comes over. We are both on part time wages so are living at home whilst saving up for a mortgage. The first time we invited him round, he didn't acknowledge my Mum when he arrived and left. We were both annoyed with him for it and I explained why: it is my Mum's place and that he should make an effort with her as she is welcoming him into her house. However, he doesn't seem to get it and replies that it is a favour to him as he doesn't have to meet someone he dislikes. When I go round to his place, I am polite and helpful with his family, so why can't he do the same back?!!? I believe that Mum and him would do something about it if they really love me. Now I am stuck. I would like to have him over occasionally but don't want the awkward atmosphere and Mum's lecture every time because of it. Mum's boyfriend says that I am 'desperate for attention' and that I will 'come to my senses'. (He knows my boyfriend too.) I am offended by these comments. Is his opinion accurate? Is Mum reasonable? What should be done about this whole situation? Am I stupid to continue seeing this guy? Please help.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (16 April 2012):
 Your Mum is very reasonable, and it goes to her credit that she has resisted the temptation to put the sole of her shoe to the backside of his pants and flow him out of the door. Which would have been very rude , of course, but ,more or less, as rude as yr bf is.
What kind of dumb , ignorant reasoning is that " he does not have to meet someone he dislikes " ? sure he does not- as long as he stays at HIS place and does not come to HERS, just to ignore her and disrespect her !
I think that your mom's bf comment refers to his surprise in seeing you are going to put up indefinitely with this kind of behaviour , or this kind of bf- maybe , if you weren't starving for attention , you would see your bf for the jerk he is.
A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (16 April 2012):
Your Mum is very reasonable, and it goes to her credit that she has resisted the temptation to put the sole of her shoe to the backside of his pants and flow him out of the door. Which would have been very rude , of course, but ,more or less, as rude as yr bf is.
What kind of dumb , ignorant reasoning is that " he does not have to meet someone he dislikes " ? sure he does not- as long as he stays at HIS place and does not come to HERS, just to ignore her and disrespect her !
I think that your mom's bf comment refers to his surprise in seeing you are going to put up indefinitely with this kind of behaviour , or this kind of bf- maybe , if you weren't starving for attention , you would see your bf for the jerk he is.
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (16 April 2012):
 Hi
I think its totally disrespectful , even if your b/f cant stand your Mum for whatever reason he should acknowledge her as he is in HER home . I dont know what your Mums b/f means by his statements as it doesnt sound related to the situation at all. You need to tell your b/f he either gets some manners or stops going round .
I would take a long hard look at him cos if he can be like this with your Mum , it could be a sign of the way he treats people . And this could be YOU one day .
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2012): Your boyfriend is a rude jerk. I had a bf do this to my father, and I told him that it is my father's house so when you come into his home you acknowledge him and be polite for my sake. Like your boyfriend, he refused because he shouldn't put up with someone he doesn't like, so I dumped his backside. The fact is he doesn't care about how you feel or that it is putting you in an awkward position, or causing trouble in your family, and his actions are disrespecting you too. I don't put up with anyone who treats my parents with disrespect in their home because if I stay with them, they will one day turn around and start the common BS people seem to pull in relationships now days of, I want nothing to do with them, so you chose between spending this special occasion with me or them. Save yourself the hassle and find someone who actually cares about you and can put your feelings above theirs once in a while. He doesn't have to like her, but he has to show her respect when in her house. It will only get worse in time, and cause trouble in the relationship. Your Mum is reasonable to expect to be acknowledged and treated with respect in her house, irregardless of who the person is dating. I am sure this isn't what you want to hear, but I am being honest. Good Luck sweetie, i hope that they can realise how wonderful you are and can stop hurting you like this.
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