A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me for the first 3 months of our 1 year relationship with his ex girlfriend who he went out with for 10 years and has kids with. He said that he didn't take me seriously then but does now. He says that he takes me so seriously now that his relationship with his kids is being jepordized because his ex is angry he moved on and in her eyes he is with me more than his kids. I love him very much and am trying to work things out with him. However, how can I ever trust him again when he is with her and his kids?
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2006): He cheated on you for three months? I think perhaps you could understand cheating on someone, once, right at the start of a relationship, but three months is quite a long time.
It's quite possible though for people to change, and if you believe what he says about now being more commited to you now then I would trust what he says and use this as a means to work through your problems.
I think the bottom line is, you can either stay with him, knowing he has done this, with the aim to get over it, or, you can choose not to forgive him, and find someone who doesn't have this bad history.
People who choose to stay together in a situation like this, and who, more importantly, can forgive, and work through it, tend to become a stronger couple. It's important though that first, you can move on, and second, that he can help you by reassuring you when he has to see his ex, etc. Good luck with whatever you decide to do. :)
A
female
reader, Ainley +, writes (28 May 2006):
i don't think i really have to say much because you seemed to have found the answer all by yourself. just trust your instinct if you think you can handle the lies and betrayal of trust and love then best of luck but otherwise i'd suggest a trial break to see how you and him really feel.
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