A
female
age
30-35,
*rincess166
writes:my boyfriend is thai and went away to thailand with his sister for 5 weeks. this is his last week of staying there. only yesterday he told me he slept with another girl within the first week of going there. he said he was so drunk and says he doesnt care about anything when he drinks. he told me he is going insane with guilt and cant eat the last few weeks at all etc. he said sorry about at least 20 times and cried. Then told me he just ruined the best relationship he's ever had and his only friend.he told me he needs my help (detoxing from weed and alcohol) and at the least be his friend. he arrives tomorow night. this morning he texted me saying how excited he was to see me and that he missed me. we talked on the phone and he asked when i was coming to the airport to see him. i was suprised because in my head i thought he would have know i wanted space and didnt think to even see him at this point. he was even more suprised that i was unsure about meeting him at the airport. i agreed to meet him and then told him i have to go. he then said 'you can still talk to me, you dont have to hang up now" and i was quiet because i didnt know what to say, doesnt he know i would be angry at him? i then told him i have nothing to say to him and said bye. is he afraid to lose me or is just acting like nothing is wrong? and is he playing the sympathy card?
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female
reader, qwertyuiop9  +, writes (22 December 2010):
talk to him about it and make him think about what he did and ask him how he oul have felt if you were the one oing that and also ask him what he would have done just talk everithing out and if you have to leave him!
A
male
reader, CaptainObvious +, writes (21 December 2010):
 Classic passive aggressive behavior, with some drama queen thrown in.
If he's claiming he needs help "detoxing from marijuana" he's either a liar, or mentally deficient.
If he slept with one girl, he probably slept with 50.
I'm not exaggerating.
Thailand, while a beautiful country, also has districts in the major cities and resort towns that would make Hell's Kitchen blush.
And it has one of the highest hiv infection rates in non african countries, and the highest on the asian continent.
It's been said that a man is as faithful as his options, and there is some truth to that.
I love my wife.
I've never cheated or wanted to.
I'd still be nervous if I had to spend some time there without her.
I think you were quiet because there *wasn't* anything to say.
He cheated, and now you have to decide whether it's over or not.
People talk about forgiveness, but I've found it only works if you treat it the same as forgiveness in a financial situation.
When you forgive a monetary debt - it's gone.
There is no effect anymore.
That's a high bar in a relationship, but the only way it works.
I'm not saying that you should or should not forgive him - just that this is the only way things will ever work between you.
If you know you can't ever get to that point, do both of you a favor and give him a terse explanation of why it's over, then sever all romantic ties.
If you can remain friends afterwards, you're a bigger person than me, but that's your call.
If he's serious about giving up the booze, that's great - but you have no obligation to be his support network.
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A
female
reader, petina1  +, writes (21 December 2010):
 Is there an ulterior motive to wanting to see you now. You can't solve all his problems. How can you leave him alone with drink etc if he even admits to sleeping around and not knowing what he's doing when drunk/high. How can you have a normal relationship with someone when y ou have to watch their every move because they are not responsible for their actions. If you carry on seeing him you are in for a long rocky ride.
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