A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am currently unemployed, while paying for a large 5 bedroom home and all related expenses for my spouse and 2 children to live comfortably. My spouse continues to ask me for petty cash that she expresses is needed because of her over spending or not spending. Am I being petty for complaining? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2010): "Question"; have you complained about petty cash when you were working? Does she think you have a bit extra if so what's the problem?
Good luck, I hope things turn around for you and your family.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (21 December 2010):
 LOVE "YouWish's" answer! Perfect!
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (21 December 2010):
 Heh..did you used to own a business? It's not often I see the words "petty cash" being used in the context of a domestic setting. Nothing wrong with it, but it sounds like to me that you used to own your own business that took the economic hit that many businesses have suffered.
I'm guessing that you also manage the finances and your wife all this time has neither known nor really cared about family financial business. Does she know how many accounts you currently have and how much money is in each? How about your asset to debt ratio and all of your insurance polies and investment portfolios?
As much as you both are used to you running the finances and her keeping it simply to pulling petty cash, it's time to bring her in and teach her all of the inner workings of your finances. Believe me, if she really knew, chances are that she wouldn't be so liberal in the spending. Just saying you're unemployed isn't enough.
Since you personally are used to seeing profit/loss statements for your business, it's time to draft one up for your personal finances. Simply telling your wife that she shouldn't be asking for petty cash at a time like this isn't enough. She is an OFFICER of your personal family corporation and should be privy to know the profit/loss you're currently facing now. If she sees all of the bills, the current income (including interest, unemployment, and drawings from various accounts and holdings), she might surprise you with how well she embraces the need for "trimming the fat" from your budget, and she won't be so quick to dismiss you telling her that things are tight.
Complaining about this won't help unless she knows *everything* about your finances. Write it all up on one sheet of paper. I'm guessing you're using Quickbooks or something similar for your household so it should be easy to just print it up. You shouldn't be carrying the whole stress of your financial situation, and the time is past to be shielding your wife from the way things are. Many people fall on hard times, so try not to make this an ego thing for you. I know you feel awful for no longer being able to keep your wife and kids living the life that they're accustomed to.
Show your wife the truth on paper. I mean the whole truth. Don't hedge and keep things from her that you're either hiding for yourself or that you're ashamed to show her like secret credit cards or the extent of your personal debt. It's time to stop trying to keep things as they are, as that could eventually devastate you. Your wife will appreciate the financial openness and honesty, and you'll feel a lot of weight off of your shoulders.
Remember, she's not an employee. She's 50% shareholder in your family business. Time for her to no longer enjoy her head in the sand and to think like the "owner" she is, meaning she could surprise you in how she steps up to the challenge of preserving and streamlining the family business finances.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (21 December 2010):
Rather than face her demands for more cash each week, why don't you sit down with her, go over the financial picture, set up the budget, including "discretionary" spending, then stick to the budget? You won't feel badgered and she should have a clearer idea of why she can't spend frivolously at this time. Show her what the financial impact of unnecessary spending will be if she or you do not get a job in 3 months, 6 months or a year. I have family in similar circumstances. You're a team and should be in "survival" mode, not in "business as usual" right now. If she doesn't get that, she needs some calm, clear education.
Good luck, I hope things turn around for you and your family.
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A
female
reader, petina1  +, writes (21 December 2010):
 If you are unemployed I think your spouse is lucky that you are paying all the expenses. You will just have to be strong and say, yes you can have a bit extra if i get more income coming in, otherwise you can't manage it at the moment. Some couples pull together at times like these and tighten their belts. Your spouse isn't grasping that idea is she?
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