A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I just realised last night that I've lost my best friend. My boyfriend was my best friend and a month ago he dumped me, the reason for this was because he had become incredibly depressed and had no strength to keep up a relationship because its so exhausting, he even said he doesnt want love anymore and no longer loves me. As im sure you can guess im absolutely broken hearted.For around 2 weeks afterwards id still talk to him on msn but i couldnt do it, he wanted me to be his friend and i couldnt accept that im his friend now, im just not. I would always ask why or if theres chance of reconnection and clearly that made me worse because he would tell me no, its over, get over it, i dont know what my future holds but whoever i chose to be in it is none of your business and many things.I havent spoke to him since (almost 2 weeks) and its killing me. Then yesterday I realised how much I miss him. He was my best friend I told him everything. These past 2 days have been eventful for me because of different things and i couldnt wait to come home and tell him until i realised i cant.Im clearly in denile to some point about this and I can see it and I know myself that I dont want to accept it, deep down Im hoping he still loves me and in time will take me back but I need to move on for now, I cant wait around right. But how do I get over this feeling? Losing him as my boyfriend was one thing but as a best friend too Ive taken that pretty damn hard aswell. What do I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2011): What I would do is go out. Maybe go chat up some guy friends and start hanging with them.
No person just doesn't love someone anymore or care. Something is going on in his life that he feels he needs to face alone.
Guys are good as masking how they feel, no matter how close they may seam to be to you, they always feel like theres something they cant tell you.
I would give it some time. Be happy around him as much as you can. He needs to see that you're still there.
A
female
reader, Shamandalie  +, writes (30 April 2011):
Mm I've been there, asking if there was any chance. It is so exhausting.
I think distance is the best thing for you. You don't want to be friends (in most cases it is impossible). It's only been a month, so it is normal that you feel pain, specially if your ex was also your best friend (been there too). Give yourself the time to heal, cry if you have to, there's nothing wrong with that. And then try to do things. Don't stay at home feeling miserable. You did nothing wrong. Do new things, things you didn't do with him. Focus on yourself. You will find yourself looking back less and less, and with less pain.
I hope you get better and if you need anything just tell me.
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A
male
reader, loveonce  +, writes (29 April 2011):
 Ya,The phase you are undergoing is quite challenging..
I am not getting the reason,why your bf started behaving strangely all of a sudden..You should ask him the reasons which brought him in depression..
Normally ,when depressed people find nothing as enjoyable & good..they seem lacking taste in their best food,habits..etc..and often try to remain in solitude..it seems that you are much involved in the relation than him..if your bf is able to explain you what went wrong which brought him in depression,you can help him fixing the causes...just be there for him..for the state he is undergoing and be non-demanding,it may be that some tension is going there in his mind..talk over that..then if that problem is resolved then talk of your relation..or it may be that by then,you may not need it..
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