A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend impregnanted another girl he dated for 3 months.but he is telling me that he loves me he want to marry me.but however last year i got pregnant and he told me to abort because he was not ready to became a father because he is curently studying so he is getting half salary but i was working,i had 3 months working but the excuse he gave was that i was still not settled.right now he is saying the girl he impregnanted refused to abort.he told the girl they don't have a future,he will just take the responsibility for the child.i dnt know what to do.help,i love him but am confused.but i feel what he did shows he does not love me.this time around he spends most of his time with me,i once told him we must part but he is refusing. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, natasia  +, writes (3 May 2011):
 You loved, needed and trusted him, so you did what he wanted.She is not attached to him in this way - she just had a fling with him - and she is standing up for her rights, and protecting her child. He can't do anything about this. The one thing a man can't do is stop a woman having his child, unless he resorts to serious physical abuse, putting abortion pills in her tea, or killing her. Seriously. (Sounds bad, but I have seen examples of all those three things in the past year - and, unbelievably, it is a lot more common than you'd think.)That he can't get her to have an abortion doesn't mean he loves her - it just means he has no influence over her. That he had an affair shows he doesn't have anywhere near enough love or respect for you, and that he is devious and selfish and uncontrolled. That he doesn't want her, and he wants you now, shows he is weak, cowardly and just low, really - after what he's done to you, he should be ashamed to crawl back to you and - yet again - try to manipulate you into doing what he wants.Dump him, unceremoniously. Tell him to get out. He is a pretty useless kind of guy. He is not the sort you want to build a life with. Don't believe it - you can find someone much better. Be strong and get out - only then will you find a better life. Don't doubt - this is what you need to do.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (29 April 2011):
 what do you mean he is refusing. does he have a collar on you that you can't escape from him?
he told you to abort your child and you did. he told this other girl the same thing and she refused. now he's stuck being responsible for his child. He is not responsible for her, only the child. that's what a man does.
sex for some people is just sex it has nothing to do with love. I don't know how you feel about it but if he lied to you then that's harder to fix....
if you want to end it, just have no contact with him, do you live together?
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