A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and i broke up saturday due to me bitching, complaining and naging about everything every day we lived together but he ended up moving out and staying with his friend. he keeps saying over and over that he needs time for his self, i guess personal time? he has said that is was mentally hard to be with me because i wanna fight about everything. he wanted me to take his clothes to him monday while he was at work so i did, he told me then that he just needed time and space to relax and stuff. he doesn't text me i have texted him a couple times and he never texts back. he left some of his stuff at my house and hasn't attempted to come and get it. i am starting to get very impatient with him because how much time does he possibly need? i texted him today and asked him if he wanted to take the rest of his things to his work. and he never texted me back. what is going on? is he ignoring me because he still wants time or is has he maybe found someone else?
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (7 September 2013):
 Honey, you need to address YOUR issues before you can ever address anyone else's. Even I felt a need of space from you.
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (6 September 2013):
Wow, you managed to make it perfectly clear why he left you in only one paragraph.
First of all, you should just leave him alone. He's never going to want you back if you're constantly reminding him why he left you.
Second, you need to stop nagging him! Even if (IF!) he comes back to you, he's obviously not going to stick around if you don't learn your lesson.
Third, if he doesn't come back, which is certainly a possibility even if he doesn't have the guts to say it, you need to work on learning how to communicate effectively without "nagging, complaining, and bitching."
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (6 September 2013):
 He broke up with you because you were bitching and nagging when you were together, yet here you are bitching and nagging again even when you are apart!
The poor guy just needs you to be QUIET. I mean SILENT. Dont keep harassing him, that was what pushed him away in the first place - so the more you bug him and text him now the longer he is going to need away from you.
You have driven him away by being horrible to him for so long, you have made his life so bad that he just needs to get away from you. So instead of whinging some more and continuing to nag him, try reflecting on your own behaviour, realising what you have done and figure out how you are going to fix it so you stop being such a pain in the ass all the time. Men HATE women that nag, there is nothing worse than a girlfriend who moans at them all the time and constantly starts arguments. So if you want this guy back you need to leave him alone until he contacts you again - he will come back when he is ready, but the more you bug him over text the longer it will take.
If you love him then you need to change yourself, so take this quiet time and use it to figure out how you are going to change so you dont nag so much and how you will stop yourself from picking fights all the time. Otherwise you are going to drive every man you meet mad and you will never have a successful long term relationship.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (6 September 2013):
 I can see why he needs a break, you are constantly pushing him and trying to control the situation. THAT can be exhausting!
I would pack up his stuff and either drop it off or text him and tell him it's ready for pick up.
After that stop texting him. He is ignoring you because you are not respecting him wanted space.
If you keep nagging and asking when he will be back, I'm guessing he won't be back at all.
He left Saturday and you decide that Wednesday is long enough.. Maybe for you, but clearly not for him. He might need another week, he might need a month to figure out if the relationship is something he thinks is worth working on.
Taking breaks in a relationship means that the relationship is not really working very well at all.
Now I have to ask, DID you nag, fight and complain about "everything" when you two lived together? What things were you "nagging" about? Was he being fair when he put all the blame on you? I mean you write like he was absolutely right in his accusations, but how do YOU feel?
You need to decide if you both can work on the issues because if you two pick up where you left off the relationship is doomed.
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A
female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (6 September 2013):
 If there is any hope of salvaging this relationship, you need to stop contacting him. This relationship is either over or the BF genuinely needs a break from the unhealthy relationship?
You need to give him the space and not send him and messages and also don't call.
Yes it going to hurt and be hard, but it is best to learn from the mistakes and start healing. No man likes a woman that nags and consistently fight. Also stop chasing a relationship, because it will make things worst. You also need this time to reflect on what has happened.
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