A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear All,For a brief insight into my circumstance please see http://www.dearcupid.org/question/her-parents-dont-know-we-are-married.htmlSince my first post, I have just crashed to be honest. One night she was on sleeping pills and was acting suicidal on her balcony, it was at such point that I just thought to myself 'what are you doing?'. Since then I've been somewhat reflective, distant and made it clear things cannot continue the way they are.We've talked and gone round in circles where I've suggested she should tell her parents, or I sacrifice us for her (we finish together) for her to get closer to her parents again if it will help her too.This week has been especially tough as a new colleague has really been kind and caring (genuinely by nature) and she's picked on my moral and as a friend reached out by message some evenings to ask if I'm eating etc. I expressed to my wife that I hate that and I feel it's wrong even though I have done nothing wrong/inappropriate, she understood my calls for affection and to have a healthy lifestyle but she's still not here.Today I just wanted to cry all night and I've decided to book myself in to a luxury hotel this weekend in an attempt to sleep, work out and eat as best I can and gt some rest/space. When I told her she apologised and I've seen received e-mails from her begging to giver her a chance and apologising for how she's made me feel.I feel so bad, as I see people caring around me and wish my wife was - it shouldn't take this. As much as I would NEVER cheat, I see people around me and I wish she was caring like them. For the first time in my life (admittedly I've always had low self esteem) I can see that people admire me too, but I'm scared I'd regret/miss her if I take a lead in this and be selfish and say finished with her - I love her :(I feel the best solution for myself is to seek physiological help to try and find the answer/solution I need for myself, from within my own mind and I have an appointment next week, however I'd really appreciate your feedback.
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female
reader, Got Issues +, writes (6 September 2013):
 Sorry, the last line us supposed to say in whatever form it may come.
A
female
reader, Got Issues +, writes (6 September 2013):
I haven't reread your other post but I remember it. If I remember correctly, your wife is in a different country, living her life there, while you're working and trying to make a life for you both.
I'm sorry to be negative but I think you're clinging to false hope. I think she feels like it was a mistake to get married without her parents' knowledge and approval, and she's in denial about it. She wants her life to continue as it is now, where she is now. I think you are in denial about it, too. You hope she will change her mind and come and be with you, but even if she did that, she wouldn't necessarily be happy. It wouldn't solve anything.
I think it's time to stay facing up to the possibility that this is going to end in divorce and that she's not going to come to you. Don't spend your life waiting for someone who's decided she wants a different life. Accept the support that you have, in whatever form in marry come
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