A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Last weekend my boyfriend met a girl when he went to hang out as his cousin's house. Basically she's a good friend of his cousin and his other friends. My boyfriend didn't even know she was going to be there because it's usually just an all guy kind of hangout where they play video games and stuff.Well my boyfriend said she wasn't there long but while she was there she was flirting with him a lot. I asked him how was she flirting with him exactly and he said that she was just complimenting him a lot and said he was the hottest guy ever and kept saying how much she liked his hair. He then said when she left she gave him a hug and messed up his hair. He said it was weird and he didn't really know what to do. It doesn't end there, the next day my boyfriend accepted her request on facebook. I guess I am upset because if she flirted with him in person I can only imagine what she's saying to him online. But to be fair, my boyfriend was very open with me and told me everything that happened. But I am still upset and annoyed that he added her on facebook and is continuing to talk to her after what happened. He told me there's nothing to worry about because he told her he is in a relationship and that she just seems like a cool girl to be friends with and there's nothing to it. Do you think this is something I should be worried about? Should I just let it go?
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female
reader, ImmortalPrincess +, writes (11 March 2014):
 From what you've said, it seems like she is pursuing him. It may appear all harmless, right now, but as song as he continues to be open to her chasing after him, that could quickly change.
You're in a bit of a sticky situation, because he hasn't really done anything that would cause you to not trust him - but leaving a door open to flirtatious temptation, when you're in a relationship, is never a good idea. Unfortunately this IS how cheating gets started.
If she backs off and doesn't continue to pursue him, then there is no problem.....but if she doesn't, your boyfriend needs to break all contact with her - If he is committed to you and your relationship, then he will.
You need to make sure he understands that even though he has told you that you have nothing to worry about, you're not comfortable with this. Maybe ask him to put himself in your shoes, and consider how he would feel if the shoe was on the other foot. What if a guy was pursuing you, and you left that door open?
A
female
reader, Sensible Alice  +, writes (11 March 2014):
 Umm, yeah, it seems pretty obvious she likes him, well to me anyway, unless she is like this with every other male? In all fairness, your boyfriend shouldn't really have accepted her friend request, but it probably seemed like an ok thing to do at the time and possibly she is a cool girl. Unfortunately it's causing you distress and worry and there's probably a thousand other girls that'd be as concerned if they were in your shoes. Give him the benefit of the doubt. He was honest and open about what happened, probably flattered as well she was paying him attention. In a week or two she will hopefully have found someone else to move her attention to. Hugs.
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A
female
reader, desiree075  +, writes (10 March 2014):
Ya man. You should be flattered that your boyfriend is getting attention, and more so that he's choosing to share it all with you. He probably accepted her friend request because he didn't want it to seem like a big deal. I don't think it's necessary that she's going to start a friendship with him on facebook after only one meeting. I think it was unnecessary of him to add her but I don't think you need to worry about him cheating on you. Maybe it's part of his insecurity and he likes the attention from her, but if that's as far as it would go, you can simply make fun of him.
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