A
female
age
30-35,
*unshine lover
writes:how do i deal with a breakup? i mean i still didnt have one..but my boy friend sometimes acts real crazy that im afraid someday its going to happen..but the thing is...he says he loves me like he loves hia own family and he makes me feel like a princess but when sometimes things get messy with him..i say something and he gets mad at me..he has absolutely no control over his anger,but i love him like my own life..hes precious to me...how do i win him back? if something happens between me and him...im desperate..i really want him in my life and i wanna spend the rest of my life with him..kindly help..
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male
reader, rcn  +, writes (15 December 2010):
 NO, NO, NO!!!!! Stop being desperate and take care of your needs and what makes you become a better person yourself. He can't control his anger. There is nothing you can do to change that, but you should not be with someone who treats you that way.
I have a good friend who is getting divorced, who loves her husband very much, but can't be with him because of how he is and how he treats their kids when he's drunk. You may love him, but where behavior is taking away from you, developing fears and attacks who you are when he's angry, it is best for you to keep exposing yourself to it? If he truly loves you, he'd change, why? Because it'd hurt him to see you in pain. He needs to realize, himself, that he no longer accepts being angry because it does no good for him or for others. Until he accepts that and takes action to change it, he's not someone I'd recommend you sticking around. You don't deserve it, and he has absolutely no right to treat you that way.
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