A
female
age
30-35,
*eartbeat007
writes:Alright so i've got a couple things. There's this guy i like. I've known him since last summer. i work at a store so he comes in a few days a week and always says hello but usually i am the one to start the conversation on AOL instant messanger. He seems nervous a lot but looks me in the eyes mostly. we don't talk much and i wish we did. We have a lot in common and he doesn't usually have a problem speaking to me, doesn't seem annoyed either. I really like him but don't want to be seen as a pest or stalker. should i wait now for him to speak to me or should i keep starting the converstation? i just get worried he'll think i'm annoying and we won't ever talk again. need some input on that thankyouuuu(:Another thing is this teacher i used to have. I miss them quite a bit and i want to say hello again, i recently moved to another school. But my mind keeps telling me they don't care about me anymore now that i've left. I want to believe this teacher still does because one day when i was very upset they told me i was very special to them. A father figure like that is too good to be true, so i guess my mind likes to think opposite. i sent them a christmas card but they never replied. i guess they were busy. But do you think they still miss me? or ever think about me anymore? would i be bothering them if i came to school to see them again?Thanks so much, it's kinda long sorry! but thankyou in advance for the helpful answers (:
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female
reader, lonelygirl11  +, writes (27 January 2011):
No you would not be bothering the teacher if you visited them in school they would appriciate it i miss my teacher too and would love to be able to in back and see him again but he moved away the year i left the school but i have been back and seen the other teachers and the really appriciated me taking time to visit them im 25 now and have "loved" him since about 8 have not seen him since i was 11 you can pm me if you want chat
A
female
reader, heartbeat007 +, writes (12 January 2011):
heartbeat007 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much cat lady for your words of wisdom (: That really helped. I'm so glad you took it seriously because when i ask these sorts of questions people just laugh and say i'm crazy which only makes me feel worse.Well the teacher is actually my principal. And at first we didn't really get along but i've known him for about 4 1/2 years and "vented" to him with all my problems. I'd never go talk to him though. I'd wait till he came to me and asked what's up because i always felt i was annoying if i vented constantly. I was very depressed in school and he seemed to lift that a bit. i havent had a dad all my childhood so i lacked father daughter kind of bond and when i was talking to him and he comforted me with a hug or encouraging word, it made me feel good, that a father figure cared about me and my future. He offered to help so many times i failed classes and always said something encouraging to me when other teachers would just pass me by. I really miss it now that i'm at a new school. it was deff something special to me. I just don't really get why he wouldnt respond to a christmas card. i guess you dont have to? idk but i'd like to keep in touch with him. i'm going to a talent show with a few friends soon and he'll be there and i was thinking about asking for his email to keep in touch but i dont want it to seem wierd because my friends are "bad" kids and they tend to make fun of me for liking him or something which is clearly not it. I remember he gave me his email to send my science project to, so i figured if he could give away his email easily to me maybe he wanted me to email him sometime? idk .I've only instant messaged him twice in a month, not everytime he's on. I commented on one pic of his car but thats it. i really, really like this guy. i dont know his age but he looks around 23 24. we talk occassionally because he comes in for a fav bag of chips that only my store sells, and we just have small convos. 1 night we had a long convo about our faith and he seemed to enjoy it. but ever since we only just wave at eachother with small convos. I'm waiting for him to act now. but my friends say i should initiate because he likes it when girls talk to him first, but as you know i don't want to bothersomeThankyou so much for your help (: very much appreciated!
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A
female
reader, heartbeat007 +, writes (12 January 2011):
heartbeat007 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much cat lady for your words of wisdom (: That really helped. I'm so glad you took it seriously because when i ask these sorts of questions people just laugh and say i'm crazy which only makes me feel worse.Well the teacher is actually my principal. And at first we didn't really get along but i've known him for about 4 1/2 years and "vented" to him with all my problems. I'd never go talk to him though. I'd wait till he came to me and asked what's up because i always felt i was annoying if i vented constantly. I was very depressed in school and he seemed to lift that a bit. i havent had a dad all my childhood so i lacked father daughter kind of bond and when i was talking to him and he comforted me with a hug or encouraging word, it made me feel good, that a father figure cared about me and my future. He offered to help so many times i failed classes and always said something encouraging to me when other teachers would just pass me by. I really miss it now that i'm at a new school. it was deff something special to me. I just don't really get why he wouldnt respond to a christmas card. i guess you dont have to? idk but i'd like to keep in touch with him. i'm going to a talent show with a few friends soon and he'll be there and i was thinking about asking for his email to keep in touch but i dont want it to seem wierd because my friends are "bad" kids and they tend to make fun of me for liking him or something which is clearly not it. I remember he gave me his email to send my science project to, so i figured if he could give away his email easily to me maybe he wanted me to email him sometime? idk .I've only instant messaged him twice in a month, not everytime he's on. I commented on one pic of his car but thats it. i really, really like this guy. i dont know his age but he looks around 23 24. we talk occassionally because he comes in for a fav bag of chips that only my store sells, and we just have small convos. 1 night we had a long convo about our faith and he seemed to enjoy it. but ever since we only just wave at eachother with small convos. I'm waiting for him to act now. but my friends say i should initiate because he likes it when girls talk to him first, but as you know i don't want to bothersomeThankyou so much for your help (: very much appreciated!
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A
female
reader, cat lady +, writes (12 January 2011):
 Hi, Heartbeat,
Why didn't you say what subject it was that tied you so close to your teacher? Whatever it be, are you still working on it? I hope so. You must have shown some unique talent for it that made you 'special' in the first place. It wasn't just your feminine charms; ample though they be. You're not just 'a girl' and a 'student;' there's something else about you that distinguishes you.
No, you wouldn't be bothering anyone if you paid a visit to your teachers and school. They'd probably be thrilled that you thought to do it. Education these days has become trade school, alas, and kids go through it like an obligation with little true interest in what they did in school. It's a means to an end with focus just on a grade and students are rushing through it and may not remember even a teacher's name a year away. If your own teachers made a good impression upon you, they'd be much gratified to know you cared enough to let them know it and that you are not forgetting them.
There are plenty of things to talk about these days that would be safely impersonal between you and a guy you want to talk to. 'May you live in interesting times' is said to have been a old Chinese curse and we're living in them now and there's a reason that was a curse: There are always upheavals and disturbances, which make interesting historical reading but are a real pain in the butt to live through. There are some very strange things going on in the world lately that should attract the attention of intelligent young people. It will be your generation that has to take the wheel and guide us into the future. Certainly you two have some ideas of your own about which direction you'd like to see your nation going in by now.
If you like the guy who comes into your workplace, what is it, besides attractive appearance, that you like about him? What do you say in those instant messages? What else does he like to do online? At his age, if it's the same as yours, he may have a lot on his mind he's trying to work out about his future; there may be family situations he doesn't even know how to discuss. Another thing is that young guys often don't feel as comfortable with words as young girls do. They talk when they need to say something but not just for the joy of talking. That comes later, with social and intellectual experience. Verbal articulation is an art and doesn't come naturally to everybody.
He seems nervous? There are ways to find out if that's personal or general without social risk to you. So ask him if he's bothered by climate change as evidenced by our Ice Age winters this year, the horrible mess in the Gulf of Mexico, an impending polar shift, too many wars, corruption in politics, the high price of food and gas, crime everywhere, the disappearing middle class; you get my drift. Find out if the guy has a brain and notices the world around him. Get him started on a topic he IS interested in and he may speak quite fluently.
You can always bat your eyelashes seductively whilst expounding on black holes and crab nebulae, integrated circuits and wireless surveillance technology, engines and motors, modern medicine and modern warfare, and on and on. If that guy is worth your time, he has to have something on his mind besides mating rituals or you'll eventually perish from boredom. So, find out what it is and show rapt attention when he talks to you. Just ask him what he thinks about any subject that interests you.
There are so many things to talk about now, I can think of no way you'd ever run out of topics. There's no reason at all you have to worry about looking like a stalker - but if I were you, I'd take it easy on the instant messaging unless he initiates more of the same himself. E-mails are better - and be sure to send interesting news links or just a good funny story to show you've thought of something he might enjoy. He may be busy when he's online studying or researching (or playing World of Warcraft....) and those IM's could be coming at an inconvenient time. An e-mail, you can let sit there until you have time to answer and something to say.
Tell us what subject that favorite teacher of yours was teaching you. When it's something that requires a lot of effort and involvement, that does form a strong bond between you and it's perfectly natural for you to still feel it long after you've moved elsewhere.
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