A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok, i have this boyfriend whom I dated for about 7 months. And we have this big problem with trust. He's always skeptical about everything a but so am i. I always feels like he's cheating evrywhere he goes, even when he goes to work and I'm at school. I love him with all my heart and don't think I can do with out him, same with him. We see each other about 4 times a week not everyday. And yes he told me he cheated a while back like when we first started dating, I mean I kissed someone in the beginnig but I NEVER had intercourse with anyone else but he did once. Two weeks ago he told me the truth about everything and he swore he never cheated ever since and never even thought about it. I love him sooo much and don't know what to do....please help Reply to this Question
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female
reader, lilmisse2424 +, writes (20 February 2008):
 it seems to me that the both of you are insecure, but i don't know, who am i to judge. what i would do is sit down and talk with the boyfriend about it. the sooner you do so, the better so that you can work on getting each other to have trust in one another. don't wait too long because if you do, then there are going to be issues, and you may both have to move on and find someone new. you both have to be able to open up and share your insecurities because that can bring you closer.
A
female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (20 February 2008):
 well first of all you both need to figure out why it is you are both so untrusting of eachother, is it past experiences, or are you both just very insecure ppl? you both need to sit down and talk about this, if you dont, you will both just go on hiding your insecurities and it will end up with both of you getting hurt. the question is do you trust him enough to believe that he wont cheat again, and move on with your relationship? if you both love eachother, then you should both be able to spend time away from eachother and feel completely at ease with it. you need to have faith in eachother and learn to trust eachother. sharing your insecurities and trust issues with eachother will help you form a stronger bond and help you get over it and move closer. good luck
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A
male
reader, anon_e_mouse  +, writes (20 February 2008):
 So this happened pretty early on then. It seems to me there are issues here which are going to be quite tough to overcome.
I remember my first girlfriend told me about 2 weeks after we started seeing each other that she kissed another guy. She felt so guilty she had to tell me. I wasn't happy about it and asked her if it meant anything. She said she felt so stupid she didn't even know why she did it. I put my foot down and said as long as it didn't mean anything then we'll forget about it but if it happens again that's it.
We were together for about 5-6 years after that. I trusted her and she trusted me. To be honest I've never come across a relationship since where 2 people trusted each other so much.
If you can't trust the man you love who also loves you then that's a pretty bad foundation upon which to build a healthy and fulfilling relationship. Am I right in thinking these incidents occurred about 6 months ago? If that's the case then I think you two need to have a proper talk about these issues and either decide;
a) to leave it in the past, forgive and move on together looking forward from now on or;
b) take a break and see how you both feel after a little "away time".
The fact he told you all about it is a good thing. Now it's all out in the open and you can deal with it together. At least it shows you can talk to each other and as he "swore he never cheated ever since and never even thought about it" combined with the fact you "love him sooo much" is a good sign this can be resolved.
In summary I say SIT DOWN TOGETHER AND TALK PROPERLY ABOUT IT AND HOW YOU CAN BOTH MOVE ON TOGETHER.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (20 February 2008):
 I think the both of you should go to the church or before God and swear your faithfulness to each other. Let God be your witness.
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