A
female
age
30-35,
*dorkable_gg
writes:Honestly, i'm rather sick of girls saying, "oh my boobs are too small...he'll never notice me." What they don't realize is that it's not a walk in the park for those with a large bust. So here's my problem: I get too much attention, and am never taken seriously. I wear what I like, and sometimes that draws attention to my chest. It has never been my intention to do so, and I would stop altogether, except I think it's entirely not fair! I mean, "I" am the one that has to change??? what sense does that make? I did't ask for it, and i don't think i should compromise my life just to get some respect. I don't want to have to change my style to change people's views of me. I like who i am, and i like what i wear. It's just, people think I'm some sort of bimbo, and most of them (guys) only pay attention to that area of my body. I HAVE EYES. I just, i don't know what to do. Part of me says "to heck with what all they say"...when the rest of me really takes their remarks to heart. I get so upset. My breasts are a reoccurring topic among my entire lunch crowd. I know they once even spoke about them when i wasn't there. How rude is that? My boobs aren't even that big, I just have a small frame. Basically, i'm sick and tired of people noticing them, when i'm a great person. I have a killer personality, and that's where my confidence is derived from, not my chest. Just, help! I respect myself way too much to continue to be the center of jokes and obsessive staring...But I still don't think i have to change because some people are shallow. Advice...it would be nice. D=--Fed UP.
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boobs, breasts, confidence, notice me Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2008): omg.quit your moaning.i want to be slimi want nice hair i want nice size boobs and i was a bf that doesnt jerk me around.but you dont here me complaining about it!!! but HEY thats life. and you aint the only ones with problems so quit your moaning. jesus. most girls would kill for a small frame and killer boobs. why the hell cant people be happy with what they've got???jeuss.....
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2008): I know it's not the perfect answer you're looking for, but I think maybe you should err on the side of hiding your boobs when you dress.
It's not "fair" that you have to hide your assets and compromise how you dress when others don't have to. But it's also not "fair" that some other girls don't ever get to work that asset even when they sometimes DO want to, either. That's life. You get the upsides of your shape 100% the time whether you want to or not, so you're also susceptible to the downsides of your shape 100% the time whether you want to or not.
So I say try to keep "the girls" under wraps a little more. Most people will still at least have a rough idea about what you're built like under there whether you show yourself a lot or not.
It's sorta like a guy with a very nice muscled-up body: Since he looks so good, he kinda comes across as showing off if he even just lets himself be seen as much as everyone else does. He has to overcompensate on the side of covering himself up more than average if he just wants to be viewed as not showing off.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2008): Moan, groan and moan. Good lord! Ladies, guys stare at boobs big and small because that is the way we are made up. My wife has big boobs and I have enjoyed and explored every inch of them. She has also enjoyed my interest and attention. Before marrying her, I have also explored and enjoyed some rather small ones. Big or small, I like boobs. I like the look and feel of them, and make no appology. If we don't stare, we are either gay or dead. So, get over it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2008): i have big boobs and i find that its not that boys give me attention but that I feel that i look fat cos my boobs are. thats MY main problem but the fact that you guys have negative stuff from guys, that comes hand in hand with it as i get negative attention from guys but in the way that i think they're looking at me and thinking 'shes fat'. This really affects me with boys as i am 16 and have only been kissed once and had one boyfriend but he wasnt proper if you know what i mean. I think its MY fault and i think i hold back too much and wen me and my mates are out and we meet a group of guys i always hold back while the rest of my friends are chatting them up but i act really shy. k Its not that im shy normally, im normally bubbly and fun but its just around guys.! help!
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A
female
reader, Happy to be me +, writes (11 November 2007):
I know how you feel! Most girls at my school are flatter than boards so that adds to the attentoin on me. Almost everyday girls at my school come up to me and ask if I stuff my bra. I always freak out and end up yelling at them(I have a bad temper). I do have a graet personality but becasue of my size all people see are my boobs. I know there comments hurt but you can't take them to heart. I have amazing shoulders and I love to show them off, so once our school had a pool party and I had on a halter that showed off my shoulders(loved that part!) but also made my boobs look bigger(hated that part.) Well all afternoon the guys followed me around saying awfull things to me. I got so mad I went and hit one of them. It got way worse! I started talking to my mom about it and she said that the gils were just jelouse and guys are guys, lol. Well I had a sleepover and I finaly decided I was going to ask why they always made fun of me. They said 'hello have you not seen yourself all the guys follow you around and every gil wnts to be you!' So jsut take them as compliments, strange I know but it worked for me when I stopped getting mad they stopped the jokes and saw my personality! hope this helped!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2007): hii have exactly the same problem as you. im pretty slight but im a 32F and ppl always always bang on and on about my tits and ppl hu are trying to be nice upset me by saying their my best feature as i dont even like them... and as you say.. id far rather my eyes were my "best feauture" than my tits. i personally dont show a huge amount of cleavage but i havnt changed the way i dress at all why should i.instead i use it to my advantage. if people are interested in you cos of your tits... use that to meet new people then once youve got their attention show them your "killer personality" and if its that great which im sure it is, theyll notice you aswell as your tits and think your a great package, gd looks and personality, and that is what is important.also with the jokes... instead of getting pissed off which portrays you as a bit sour, try and laugh along with the jokes, then they wont annoy you so much an dif u dont get pissed off, then eventually ppl teasing you about your boobs will stopgd luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2007): If you're a double G and you show them off, you can't really expect guys to look at your face first, it's a natural male reaction to a magnificent chest on display.
It's probably a neanderthal reaction and an 'inbuilt' signal to a man's psyche that this gal is capable of feeding his babies and therefore a good prospect for mating. Wide hips and a narrow waist give off much the same signal.
Your choice of clothes can either accentuate or camouflage your attributes and guys will look at you accordingly. First impressions and all that!
Phil
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2007): im sorry, this is probably not what you want to hear, but i agree with rhythmandblues. like it or not, what you wear sends a message. yes, the world is awful for judging people superficially, but can you honestly say you don't do the same thing? i have size 36 C boobs and i'm only 5'1" so i know how you feel! my friends focus on my boobs a lot, as does my boyfriend, and im a junior biology major. No one judges me as smart at first however because of my boobs and my bubbly personality. i think my boobs are great though and you should too. ignore people, why do you care what they have to say anyways? you ovbiously have great self esteem and you should be soooo proud of that and of your great boobs!
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2007): i have to agree. i am only 20 so not too much older than you and i feel the same way. the clothes you wear, whether you like it or not, does send a message and first impressions are hard to break. if you want more respect, wear clothing that demands it. You can still be sexy and be covered up!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2007): Oh and p.s. I just read the comment below. That was really mean. I wouldn't pay attention to her if I were you. While it is true that some women who dress provocatively might be slutty there are plenty of women who show skin with no bearing to their true character. I think it is shallow for the previous aunt to assume that people will only see you as a slut. That is not true. Don't pay attention.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2007): Like my friend has really big boobs and she always shows her cleavage and wears tight shirts. But she can handle the attention. She doesn't mind at all. I mean that is who you are and you should embrace it but if you are not tough enough to handle the criticism then maybe you should cover up more.
I used to feel like you to some extent. I still do. I don't have big boobs but I HATE when guys look at me in that way. But I have got to say that what I do is I never show skin. This is a choice I have made. Usually I wear fitted jeans and shirts or blouses that are not too revealing. And I have a strong attitude. To be honest, most of the attention I get is real positive. I mean alot of it really has to do with how you dress and how you act.
Like my friend has big boobs and flaunts them but she is real charming and intelligent and has a strong personality and she is confident. So guys don't just treat her like an object. In fact guys like her like a friend too.
So you could do either. You could be like me and not be too revealing or like my friend be revealing but confident.
Either way you have got to accept the fact that the world is the way it is. You can embrace it or go against it. As long as you are always confident and intelligent, you can never go wrong.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2007): I think I know the problem...the current styles for young women here in the last few years is one of showing a lot of skin and a lot of clevage....as much as we women like to think that we are independent and strong and therefore should be able to flaunt what we've got, the truth of the matter is that clothes often make the person, it is the first impression that people get from us and we do not have another chance to make another one.
As much as men oggle a girl showing a lot of boob, they do not respect her as much, they may date her or make out with her, but they start to think about how many other men have been with you, and that you must have low self esteem to show that much of your body out in public, nothing is left to the imagination, and it is just not that special.
This nakedness is especially offensive on a young girl your age, even though this is the time of your life when your skin is smooth, and your muscles are toned, it looks off putting to see a young girl try to sell herself with her sexuality, it is kind of creepy because your elders see you as someone they want to cover up to protect....you are a baby, to many people older than you are....this is not said to put you down, but you may not realize what kind of message you are sending about the kind of girl you are when you show some cleavage, lots of bare arms and midriffs, along with super tight jeans...it is just kind of well, slutty.
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