A
female
age
41-50,
*ia_Creque
writes:I am a 27yo F. I have a 6yo daughter. I use to have a flawless body pre-baby. Post-baby, is.... jus.... terrible. My skin on my stomach is saggy... no matter how much I work out it is here to stay. I look and see other women complain and all the ones I have seen have nothing compared to my stomach. The man I am with is not the father, however the first 2yrs of our relationship he had problems getn it up once my clothes came off or just not wanting me sexually. I have felt like a monster for 2yrs. He finally admitted it was because of my stomach. My question, what should I do. Leave, stay and forget that he made me feel like I was an alien, monster a deamon. I would literally throw myself at him. He would just shew me away. Now he sorry and wants it all the time... Im kinda done... I dont wanna go or stay. HELP!!! I need some good ligit advice.... Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Mia_Creque +, writes (18 March 2011):
Mia_Creque is verified as being by the original poster of the question @maverick494- Girl I am in my 3rd week of P90X. I have lost 15lbs. An all the advice you have given is exactly what the man is doin on P90X. The meals are tons of protein and sooo good. Next friday will be my 1st month. Im so esssited. I jus would like to wear a monokini in the summer... Never a bikini again, but as close as I can get.. Cause Im from Texas and wearing full swimsuits is hot as H-E-Dbl Hockey Sticks... N e ways I am glad to hear from you.. Very inspiring, I dont feel alone in this.. Muah 3 there is actually hope at the end of my tunnel by hearing your story of weight loss and getn your body back by just natural eating and working out...
A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (17 March 2011):
What an idiot. He probably believes the Victoria Secret models to still look like that when they 80. Maybe he believes pigs can fly too. Seriously, some people have no clue about reality. I'm sorry to hear what you're going through, but atleast you got to see his real self now you're still young.
As for your body, I can understand when comforting words from us don't seem to cut it. I used to be pretty big when I was younger and when I lost enough weight to theoretically be a swimsuit model, I didn't have the same firmness. What I recommend is to do a lot of strength training. Stay away from machines because they make you do short movements (which result in short compact muscles.) Use free weights and do exercises that train multiple muscles at the same time. Do rope jumping for endurance and a lot of bodyweight exercises. Include cardio, but train with intervals (i.e. 30 seconds full speed running, 1 minute jogging at comfortable pace, etc.)
When it comes to food, eat lots of protein. A rule of the thumb: don't make white carbs (from bread, rice, potatoes) the bulk of your meal. There have to be more green veggies and protein than white carbs. Eat atleast 3 times a day (with two minor snacks if you can manage) and drink a lot of water. Use the weekend as your cheat days but don't pig out.
And the MOST IMPORTANT RULE: switch up your routine DRASTICALLY every 4-6 weeks.
This is how I got lean and firm without turning into a she-male ;-). I'm not saying your body issues will disappear entirely, but it should help. As for everything else: accept what you can't change. Everyone else does!
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A
female
reader, Mia_Creque +, writes (17 March 2011):
Mia_Creque is verified as being by the original poster of the question@ Anonymous male reader- thanx, I feel the same and always have.. but unfortunately, the perfect perception of a woman seems to be the ultimate type of girl for men these days. But, its good to know and hear from "normal" men like yourself.
Choa
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2011): "He finally admitted it was because of my stomach."
That right there tells you that you are with the wrong person. Once upon a time, I married a trim, fit, running, bicycling, young, perky woman (who was still older than you when I met her).
Now, my wife has a huge scar on the abdomen from a surgery, and sag from childbearing and aging.
She is still the most beautiful person on the planet.
You don't want to be with someone who views you this way. Any one of us can be seriously scarred from an accident, injury, illness, etc, without warning. Those who love us need to love us better than that.
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A
female
reader, GeeGee255 +, writes (17 March 2011):
 Then your scars really are a mark of courage and sacrifice. And you should bare them proudly. (In your heart if not a 2 piece) And to hell with any guy that can't see that.
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A
female
reader, Mia_Creque +, writes (17 March 2011):
Mia_Creque is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank yall for the advice. Really! This stupid stomach of mine, has actually ruind me as a person. I found this site the yesterday and thought itd be a great idea to ask.
@GeeGee255- Thats the thing I cant get a tummy tuck. I donated 60% of my liver to my mother January 3, 2003. I have a scar right below my sternum that looks like a Peace sign without the circle around it. Because of the scar tissue left behind, I am at great risk to having necrosis of the skin post surgery. I will have a huge hole because the skin will die from the scar tissue not allowing oxgygen to the skin. So I will always have this....
Again yall, thank you for the replies... Right now I am doin P90X to try an gt as lean as possible an see if it makes a kind of significant changes...
Choa
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A
female
reader, cupidus  +, writes (17 March 2011):
 I'd say
"that's my nine months of pregnancy, that's my pain and scars of delivery. And that is my beautiful daughter whom I love more than life itself."
"Where are your scars of love and pain and sacrifice?
"And next time you dangle your tea bags in my face think about your mysterious uglies"
"Actually, don't even get me started on your uglies..."
Do it, go there, I dare you.. watch as the tables turn..
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A
female
reader, GeeGee255 +, writes (17 March 2011):
Some womens skin get justs saggier than others after child birth. Mine did too, even thought I lost all the weight. Plus I had a hernia operation and a hysterectomy that left it cris crossed with a scar that looked like a big anchor, and stretch marks all over.
It was so horrible that the first time my cousin, a mother of 3, saw it she cried for me. And because the muscles are separated internally no amount of sit-ups would help. My husband said it looked like the peoples heads on Alien Nation. He used to say G'nite to me & my stomach.lol
So even though we have 3 kids and average paying jobs, my husband helped me get the financing I needed to get a tummy tuck. It was fantastic! All the scars were gone, and almost all of the stretch marks too. Plus they sewed my internal girdle (muscles) back together so nicely that I had an instant 6 pack.
I know it is a lot of money but it helped me look and feel so much better about myself again. Just make sure your baby making days are over before you even think about doing it.
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A
female
reader, Sincerely Yours +, writes (17 March 2011):
 Aw, i'm sorry sweety.
There should be so much more to your relationship with him than your stomach. There are more important things, and even though there are always going to be unfortunate things like this, bad arguments, and hurt feelings, we have to try so hard to think about the positive things... weight the pros and cons. What are you giving up if you leave him because of this issue with your stomach? He's made up his mind... he's said he's sorry and he wants you now as you are. You just have to evaluate every negative and positive aspect of your relationship before you make the decision to stay or to go.
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