| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I’m 18 years old and trying to figure out the relationships in my life. For instance "Bob". He’s 19 years old and graduated a year before me. I’ve known him for 2 years and have dated him on and off. we've been really good friends forever. We still hang out all the time and have always had strong feelings for each other. We've never once kissed or done anything sexual. He’s the one person that truly loves me. He’s the type of person I would marry because that’s how great of a person he is. He’s a 'goody goody', trusting, caring, loving and very courteous mature person. He’s wanted to be with me from day one, but I’ve always seemed to push him away due to other guys. He stuck by my side threw a bad relationship I encountered and ended. He tried to get over me by dating two other girls feeling obligated. He ended both. Now he’s gone back to one of the girls, who has corrupted him in so many ways. She’s a mean controlling person I and I can barely stand her. She treats him really bad. He deserves better. Well last night we were both intoxicated and talked in the back seat of a car on the way home. He told me for the first time that he loves me and he always has. He is the one "guy" to truly mean it when saying it. Because I know he does. I love him too and I know he will drop his relationship with her for me, but that’s not what I want. But here’s the thing, I’m going into the Air Force reserve and will be gone for close to a year. I know he will wait for me but I’m not sure if I should start a relationship with the person I will probably end up marrying, before I go and spend a year around tons of guys and opportunities. See, I’m a very sexual person, and I can see myself always being tempted, though I would never cheat. Here it is: I’m 18 and going to get a career within a year, when I come back I could start my life with "bob", settle and grow out of my partying, sexual, club lifestyle or not. If I do this now, or within a few months before I leave for a year, I have to sacrifice things, like social gatherings, like clubs and bars. He’s like the "one man" where he has one best friend and doesn’t get out much and can’t dance which I love doing.He’s not a hotty, and I know I can get that somewhere else. Do I grow up now and take the perfect opportunity for a long lasting loving relationship or do I wait it out and keep looking?
View related questions:
best friend Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2005): I understand how you feel because i'm going through a similar situation. But if I were you I would tell "bob" how I feel before it's too late. Even though you are going away there are ways of making the relationship work out. You better take advantage of the oppotunity while you have a chance before someone else takes him, and you'll still be wondering why did I let him get by. It seems like you guys are really close, and even though yall have dated other people you have never lost touch to me I personally think that's a sign to give you guys a chance to see what iy would be like to date other people to make yall better for each other. In order to know exactly what you want you have to go through something with other people to make yourself perfect for your soulmate that could be right under your nose.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (10 October 2005):
 Awwww! Youth is wasted on the wrong people! Have some fun while you are young. Go to the clubs, dance! If you don't you'll always regret it. If Bob is still around in the future then fine but you don't want to be tied down at this time.
...............................
A
female
reader, Kay-the-Cloud +, writes (10 October 2005):
Do you think you can find better? This "Bob" sounds quite charming. But you have to think about these things, will he always treat you right, through the good times and the bad? Do you swear to be loyal? At the end of the day, if you know you can't find better than "Bob", you should tell him that you want to be with him. Tell him how you feel!
...............................
A
female
reader, AuntieChrissy +, writes (10 October 2005):
Do you think that if you start something with Bob you can keep it together? Can you wait? It's not really a wise idea to sleep around for a year if you're plannig to settle down with someone specific afterwards; you're putting yourself and him in danger. What if something happens to either of you? If I were you, I'd go with Bob. But thats just me. Choose wisely.
...............................
|
