A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:ive been w/ my gf for 6 months. i really love her and seriously think she could be the one im w/ for life but about a week ago i realized im bi or at least bicuriuos. i told her and shes totally ok w/ it but since im in a commited relatioship i cant really do anything about my curiousity. im just wonderin if i should break up and ruin a happy relationship w/ this girl in order to live out my sexual fantasies before im married and its too late. if not what do i do to satisfy these feelings im having? i really want to experience the other side of things. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, AvgGuy1 +, writes (7 May 2010):
Have you asked he what should would think or feel about you connecting with another guy... now, or later? What about her thoughts on a three-way with you, her, and another guy? Perhaps she would be totally comfortable being with you... in a polyamorous situation.
If she's not comfortable with any or all of these, then perhaps you need to let her go - if only for a while - so that you can workout or desire to connect (physically or even emotionally) with another guy.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2010): I liked chigirl's answer but:
It sounds as though you've already made up your mind. Being Bi doesn't make you different from anyone else. If you're in a relationship and feel as though you want to play the feild and you are getting tempted by the thought of being with other people (whether they're of the same sex or not), don't you think you should end it before you do something you regret and really hurt this girl by cheating on her? It doesn't sound like you'd ever be satisifed staying with her for the rest of your life.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (7 May 2010):
 The grass is not that often greener on the other side. I understand very well where you are coming from, I had the same "issue". I sometimes get the cravings to try on the other gender. Just to try it. But it hasn't been easy! Not sure how easy it is for you to be able to try exploring your sexuality, but I found it very hard to find a woman I was interested in who was interested in me! For about 2 years I was on the lookout. I hooked up with many but there was always something in the way of me fully exploring. What Im saying is: there is a risk that even if you break up with your girl to explore (which is fully undertandable if thats what you wish), you might go alone for a GOOD WHILE before you find someone suitable to explore with.
Then there is the other aspect that I have now discovered. I entered a relationship with a man, I feel in love, and as it is with us bisexuals we fall in love too. And then I don't want anyone else. I still am curious and want to explore, but just the thought of being with someone else makes me shiver. I simply enjoy my love too much to want to be with anyone else, you know?
When you are in love, why should you give up that for just a fling with someone else, just for the experience? The experience might be great and fun, but then what? Then it's over, and you have no one to be in love with and have a relationship with.
I wouldn't at all mind trying a lesbian relationship, but it just so happens that I feel in love with a man first. And I accept that.
Now what I am grateful for is that my boyfriend is open for the idea of threesomes, or even me making out with other girls without him being involved. Perhaps you can ask your girlfriend for permission to kiss a man once? Or give your girlfriend some time to think about things, and maybe she will be open for trying things out with you?
Just because you are bi it doesnt mean you HAVE to try both genders. Just fall in love and do what feels good and right, and dont feel pressured into having to explore. I believe right now you are doing a lot of exploring already, learning who you are. Develop some fantasies, look at guy porn etc and see how you feel about it after you've taken a closer look.
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