A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:When my ex and i broke up we kinda remained friends (just occasionally talking not hanging out). one day we decided to see each other and we hooked up. he said he still has feelings for me always has always will and i said i have feelings too. since when we were sorta seeing each other for a bit over a month. I was the one making all the effort, he wasnt sure if he wanted a relationship or not and i was the one always messaging every day and asking to hang out. sometimes he didnt reply and cancelled. i admit i was a bit insecure and needy. but on saturday he just stopped replying to me. he msgd to say he was going on a trip for work all week but he hasn't replied to any of my messages :( I have so many feelings for him its not funny and i cant just let it go. I just want to be friends and see if anything progesses but he wont talk to me! Why do you think this is? and what should i do?
View related questions:
broke up, insecure, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, bruce lee  +, writes (7 May 2010):
 I am a bit confused here. The question you are asking us is...Why is your ex-boyfriend ignoring you?
Maybe he is using you in some way. He only wants to see you occasionally to get something off you. Like money, advice, someone to talk to, free food, etc.
Looks like you'd better tell him to use someone else up. He's treating you like a doormat. But it's up to you what to do about it. You could ask him what his intentions are towards you.
But it might be best to just avoid him or get him out of your life. I hope this helps.
There are 4 virtues that apply here...Courage, wisdom, justice, and cunning. You must use them all to outsmart this person.
Ask him some tricky questions like, "When are you going to let me know where I stand in this friendship?"
You've got to get an honest answer out of him.
A
female
reader, pinktopaz  +, writes (7 May 2010):
Girl, get your head out of the clouds! He doesn't want to have a relationship with you anymore. You two hooked up, and he probably felt that way at the time but changed his mind. If he wanted to see you, he wouldn't have cancelled plans or just avoided you all together.
Be realistic now, you don't want to be just his "friend." You want to stay there so that hopefully he'll want to get together again. One rule you should learn now is that you CANNOT be friends with your ex until you have no feelings for them. If you continue trying to pursue this "friendship" with him while still having feelings for him these feelings will not go away. You'll only feel worse because he still won't want to be with you while you continue to have the feelings that you have.
It's done. Quit texting him, quit calling him, do not leave him messages on his phone on facebook or on myspace...twitter or ANYTHING. I'm sorry if this sounds harsh and I'm not trying to be mean about it, but it's all true. If he wanted you, he'd make an effort. The best thing you can do for yourself is to not talk to him anymore...even if he tries to contact you later down the road you need to end it; otherwise, you will continue to feel exactly how you do now, I guarantee it.
...............................
|
